Your folks will deliver a message for you
They are going to side on parental rights on this one unless I do the Telling Big Secrets* thing. And if I do that, they'll be so furious in every direction that it won't matter.
But stepmom is visiting her in a month. Maybe I can convince her by then to take a postcard or unsealed envelope.
- And I am not being all noble and shit by shutting up and not causing a nuclear meltdown. If it would only hurt my brother and sister in law, I would do it in a heartbeat. It's ugly in and of itself to say that but it is only the collateral damage that is keeping me from calling or writing tonight.
What women are there on the board besides me that have large feet? I have a pair of dark red suede Delman flats, with a pretty swirly design on them, that are size 10. They don't fit my feet well, but they have very little wear, and I would love to find them a good home.
(cross posted with Natter)
She knows you love her. Even if your parents don't feel they can mention such a TABOO THING.
There is not a ticked off teenage girl alive who doesn't fantisize about going to be with her "Aunt Jen" if she is lucky enough to have one.
Cass, you can call me Andi, or you can call me Windy, or you can call me BreezyBird, or you can call me... well anyway, call me whatever you like, just don't call me late for supper.
Perkins, my dear small-footed friend... you make me feel like Cinderella's step-sister. Ah well, you know what they say: They build better foundations under mansions than they do under outhouses.
Cass, I'm sympathetic with your situation but if you try to go around your brother to contact your niece, you're just going to piss him off more. (And it'll come out eventually. This kind of drama works its way to the surface and even the brightest teens are terrible at covering their tracks.) Not that I agree with him, but he obviously feels like it's his parental prerogative to mediate his daughter's relationships with other adults. (This is not an unusual parental perspective either.)
If he feels like you're undermining his authority or relationship to his daughter, and you make an end-run to contact her, he's just going to shut contact down with her even harder.
And having a nuclear bomb in your back pocket is not something you want to use as leverage. That just makes you more dangerous, less trustworthy and more unreliable from his perspective.
I can see that you're furious at him, but you won't be doing her any favors by having him cut you out, or even force her to take sides between people she loves. That's the most damaging thing to do to kids when parents are undergoing a separation, and some of that dynamic is in play here.
I'm not saying you're not right. I'm saying that pressing forward righteously now would have long term negative repercussions in ways you can't even imagine now.
It's almost always better in these situations (by which I mean a child is being tugged between family members) to back off and defuse.
I've seen some nuclear bombs dropped on families, and even when the person who dropped the bomb was in the right and not responsibile for the original offense, that person becomes Unforgiveable. Emotionally it can become untenable for a young person to maintain a relationship with the whistle-blower and the person (usually a parent) who is originally at fault.
Well, its either that or hire a sky-writer.
Perkins, my dear small-footed friend... you make me feel like Cinderella's step-sister. Ah well, you know what they say: They build better foundations under mansions than they do under outhouses.
Well, I did say the 10s didn't fit...
What women are there on the board besides me that have large feet? I have a pair of dark red suede Delman flats, with a pretty swirly design on them, that are size 10.
I laugh at your "large" feet. 11 wide, baby! :)
Well, I did say the 10s didn't fit...
