For those of you not on lj.....a crosspost.....

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Well, the shit hit the fan in our house on Sunday. Both girls got caught in a bunch of lies. But each girl handled the situation differently and here lies a glimpse into the character of each.

K-Bug faced the music and has been dealing with the situation and consequences. There has been crying and heartbreak and difficult conversations. But she has hung in there and dealt with the people affected by her actions. While K-Bug is still in trouble, she benefits greatly in comparison.

C ran. She had plans for Sunday and her ride showed up right as the discovery was made. Instead of staying and dealing, she left. It was all too much at once and I didn't realize letting her go was not the best choice. When she returned she brought her mom with her and instead of dealing with the situation, she said she wanted to move back to her mom's. Mom is staying with a friend as she does not have her own place, but she has been away from the abusive boyfriend for 2 months. Sunday we decided to sleep on it and talk again Monday night to decide what was going to happen. We did tell her that if she moved out, it was over, there was no going back. No second chance at a guardianship.

So last night we reconveined, and both C and her mom reiterated that C wanted to move out. She has not taken one ounce of responsiblility for the problems that arose Sunday and is running away from them. Her mom is aware of the situation that set this off, but is saying she can handle it. As yet, neither of them have involved C's father, though if they don't soon, I will...make DH call.

So, C will be moved out by the weekend.

I have not fully processed all that has happened or decided how I feel about this. I am hurt and feel as though we have been used. I'm glad that this happened BEFORE the legal side was finalized. I know, in my heart, that we did everything we could to help her and she is throwing it away with both hands. I'm completely disappointed in C, as I thought she was a stronger and more mature than this. But if she is going to run the first time things get hard and she is going to give up all that we were trying to offer - then good riddance. I don't need that kind of poison or influence in my house.

Thank you to all who have supported us though this process. It is not over yet, but your well wishes and kind words meant a lot to me. To those of you who met C, thank you for your generousity in welcoming her into your life, even for a few minutes. I truly feel she is making the wrong choice, but am powerless to help her anymore.

Many sympathies, MG.

Oh, MG, I'm so sorry.

Oh, MG. How utterly heartbreaking for all of you. Huge, huge hugs to you and K-Bug especially.

I'm so sorry, MG. No wonder you were so upset. I wish there was a magic formula that would keep teenagers from screwing up their lives.

Maidengurl, K-Bug faced this the way she did because you have raised her well. You are a good Mom and the proof is in the pudding -- not that she's perfect but that she can be responsible for dealing with a fuck-up.

C, on the other hand, is apparently not capable of that and it is no mystery why she would bolt rather than deal since that's what she was taught. You can love her and love her, but the time came for her to use a tool she doesn't have and your good parenting hasn't had time to make up the difference.

Try not to feel used, ok? (You'll feel what you feel and of course it is all valid, I'm not trying to negate what you feel.) You did your best to help someone and she truly may have done her best to BE helped. I doubt she was malicious or mercenary in intent. The kid is broken. It may be broken that can't be fixed by you OR her.

You will all be in my prayers.

I'm so sorry, MG. What a hard decision to make. I'm willing to bet that C will take all the love and support you've shown her, and use it to make better decisions later on. You did so much for her. {{{MG}}}

MG, I offered you thoughts in LJ too, but ugh. Just ugh. Many hugs and all that. I hope you're able to start sleeping again soon.

And in my whiney news, I am in a great deal of pain. I want to go home, but there really isn't any point. I'll just be in pain there too...and I have two doctors' appointments this afternoon, so it's not like I'd be able to stay at home. But, at any rate, I'm having a very difficult time sticking this out.

Thanks all. And thanks Trudy.

I'm trying hard not to get petty, which is where my brain is trying to go right now. I've turned off her phone aleady and DH has started taping up some boxes for her. She has not spent the last two nights at our house and part of me wants to say she is not welcome to spend the rest of the week either.

{{{{MG}}}} Sorry, sweetie. i'm so sorry.