Greek God Nikita writer posted a chapter of her current "stranded on a desert island" story, which I thought was going pretty dully until this:

Quietly and carefully he made his way to a clearing at the foot of the volcano and there lit by the full moon lay Nikita, still unconscious. Close by to the waking beauty were a series of apes that had obviously been attracted to the woman by her gold hair. It was also obvious to Michael that the apes had grown tired of the listless body and had moved on to fulfill other tasks. Their incredible monkey business wild and primal, animal instincts and love making surprisingly carnal.

That's right, she's been kidnapped by fucking monkeys.

The games people play each for their own reasons momentarily put aside in exchange of a little ‘nookie’, a banquet of pleasure reminiscent of wild monkey sex. When he arrived at the shore where she dangled her feet in the warm water he held her toes and whispered, “You win.”

Okay, yes, "wild monkey sex" is a common joke in the fandom, but you're not supposed to make it *literal*...

Their incredible monkey business wild and primal, animal instincts and love making surprisingly carnal.

This isn't even a sentance.

What is she saying? That the monkeys kidnapped, wanted to do her, but she wouldn't wake up so they fucked each other?

I think she might be saying that. There was another bit in the chapter when she talks about how Nikita's being knocked unconscious had saved her.

Most of the time, I wouldn't have worried that a story might feature our heroine being molested by monkeys, but this time, I was worried.

I'm not going to contemplate this, and you can't make me.

I think, on the whole, I would rather monkey just threw their shit at me than attempted to kidnap and rape me. Bestial rape != romantic.

But see, this way Nikita can see how wrong she was not to listen to Michael when he left a note for her to come help him with, you know, building the hut.

No, seriously. The gender politics in this, if you can dignify them with such a term, make me wanna hurl.

a banquet of pleasure reminiscent of wild monkey sex

Before this, you know, I thought I was in favour of the hot monkey sex. Now I realise I'm actually in favour of the metaphorical hot monkey sex. By which I mean that the monkeys, rather than the sex, are metaphorical.

Ew, Dana. Just... ew. Please tell me this writer isn't popular?

Oh, and what's going on in the viddingdom? There's a sudden plethora of "Elite Vidding Bitch Cabal" icons, which generally indicates a kerfuffle somewhere. Not that I'm not in favor of elite bitch cabals, but I like to be informed.

Please tell me this writer isn't popular?

t shrug She's got a group of followers. Don't ask me why.

Oh, and what's going on in the viddingdom? There's a sudden plethora of "Elite Vidding Bitch Cabal" icons, which generally indicates a kerfuffle somewhere. Not that I'm not in favor of elite bitch cabals, but I like to be informed.

It sounds like viddingdom had a list-related meltdown, from what I gathered. Critique was said to be a mean thing to do or something.

Meanwhile, half the people on my FL appear to have stopped talking to each other over... something (thinking about it gives me whiplash), BBF just settled down, Smallville's on F-H, and, oh yeah--Fandom Wank's been deleted by its own mods. Or one of them. We're uncertain WTF is up with that.