Aaand, it's a no go. It's in the tube, which is the problem. There's a closed collar that I can't detatch to get at the damned switch. Which I suspected was going to be a problem, but I hadn't tried that hard to get it out. And now I have, and I can't.

Fuck.

DX and sarameg: Nine people in the US have any idea what this torchiere business is about, and six of them are watching PBS.

Heh. From the FAQ:

Q. How many Buffistas does it take to screw in a light-bulb? [PersephoneMoon - TT.QB.1768]

A. Seven. One to screw it in and six to debate whether full spectrum light bulbs would give vamps a rash. [Jon B - TT.QB.1769]

A. Plus one more to set up a poll on which kind of light bulb to use. [David J. Schwartz - TT.QB.1770]

A. No. One to set up a poll to decide on a title for the "Would Full-Spectrum Light Bulbs Give Vampires a Rash In The Jossverse" Table Talk thread. [Jon B - TT.QB.1771]

A. And another to set up the threads, "The Lantern, the Torch, and their Lampshades," "Bulbista Bureaucracy," and "Torchiere&Halojen4EVAH!" [DXMachina - TT.QB.1772]

A. Twenty-one. One to set up a poll on what to title the light bulb-changing ceremony. Two to research which high-efficiency light bulb will encourage more people to de-lurk. Three to blame Anya, Tara and/or Dawn for letting the light bulb burn out in the first place. Four to sob that Joyce will never again change a light bulb. Five to rhapsodize about how hot Spike would look changing the light bulb. And six to complain about how the new light bulb isn't as exciting as the light bulbs from the earlier seasons. [David J. Schwartz - TT.QB.1773]

We'd best leave it at that. Otherwise, if Teppy and Gud show up at the same time, there'll be bloodshed...

There's a closed collar that I can't detatch to get at the damned switch.

I'd be willing to bet the collar is threaded, so it can be unscrewed. You may need a pair of channel-locks to do it, though.

Aw, Don Knotts died: [link]

One end is threaded, that's for sure. The end I can't get out, who knows. I expect it was put together by a dastardly machine, hence I'm too weak.

Heat the tube near the collar with a hairdryer set to high heat. Maybe expanding the metal will loosen it some.

I'm assuming it is similar to the lamps I have, a three-piece pole that screws together. On mine, the individual tubes have threads on both ends, and screw onto the brass fittings between.

Thanks for the suggestions, but already been tried. Even had the channel lock pliers (though I hadn't realized they were called that.)

And yep, it's that kind of lamp.

I give up. I'm going to go dye my hair.

Man, if this didn't scream child hazard, I'd suggest Gud build one right away.

Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!
What'd I say?

I'm going to guess... no more than three degrees of separation between beth b and Matt and the monorail builders. Possibly just two.