The key thing was a persistent problem in my group of absent minded academics. People would lock themselves out of their offices and then stand in the hallway looking confused, or they would drive all the way into work and discover that they had no key to get into their office.

Since Bob Bob (the philosophy grad student) isn't near a computer, I will reprint something he wrote about these things happening to him.

Let me tell you about my first "academic moment."

I lived in Germany from July 1998 to June 1999. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: it gets cold in Germany, Black Forest or no Black Forest. Once, when it was really cold, I bundled up--hat, gloves, scarf, coat, clothes--and went outside. After going shopping and undergoing the scathing insults of the typical German cashier (e.g., "your skin does not smell of lanolin!"), I returned back to my cell of an apartment.

I took off my gloves and unlocked the door. I went inside and played Baldur's Gate II for two hours, and then I got ready to go back to my Vateruniversity, Philips-Universitaet.

I got my coat on, got my scarf on, got my hat on, got my gloves ... where were my gloves?

I searched my apartment for half an hour, to no avail. So I thought to myself, "they couldn't have gotten far in this prison cell of an apartment--oh, God, why am I in this hell-ful land?! I have no pleasure-others,* I have nothing to kill;** I've got to get out and back home to Dayton!! But first, my hand-shoes.*** They couldn't have gotten far, so I'll look for them when I get back from found-food-in-the-basket-putting."****

I went out of my apartment, I closed the door, and I happened to look down the hall.

At the end of the hall were my gloves.

See, what I had earlier done was (1) take off my gloves; (2) throw my gloves down the hall; (3) take out my key; (4) and unlock my door.

(2) was the academic moment.

I had another academic moment a few years later.

I had just arrived in Dayton from Ann Arbor. I turned off my car, got out, and took my stuff inside the house. My Mom, Dad, and dearly departed cat, Vivaldi, greeted me. I was having a fun time. Then, two days later, I decided to leave the house to go out somewhere.

But I couldn't find my keys. Now, my house is a lot larger than my German "apartment", so I had to do a lot more looking.

I still couldn't find them.

Finally, in desperation, I decided to go out and look in my car. There, sitting in the ignition, were my keys. My radio was still on. Luckily, my car still worked; but the keys were in the ignition for two days. The moral of the story? My parents live in an extraordinarily safe neighborhood.

Today, I had my third academic moment. (Since I'm Catholic, all it takes is three academic moments for me to be canonized as an academic.)

I was getting ready to go to the DMV to renew my license, when, at the door to the apartment, I remembered that I hadn't taken a Diet Coke with me for the hour-long road trip. I left the door, went to the fridge, opened it up, got out the Diet Coke, closed the fridge door, took out my keys, and attempted to lock the fridge door using my keyfob. I pressed the "lock" button twice, but I never heard a honk from the refridgerator. Finally, I realized what I was doing and wrote this.

So was that my third academic moment? Well, it wouldn't have been, but this was the third time I've tried to lock the fridge like that. So yes. This was my third academic moment.

* I have no friends.

** I have nothing to do.

*** But first, my gloves.

**** ... from grocery shopping.

Stubble improves crankitude. See also: Wesley.

What excuse do the rest of us blockheads have when we do stuff that's stupid like that? Senior moments? Blonde moments?

Unrelatedly, I love George Clooney:

But only minutes later, Clooney was amiable and charming, no matter what question was put to him, even when asked if he'd consider starring with Heath Ledger if there were to be a sequel to "Brokeback Mountain."

"Heath is awfully handsome, so probably," Clooney responded.

I call it a "memfault". My life is a memfault lately.

Let me tell you about my first "academic moment."

I'm totally using this phrase instead of "senior moment".

There's also pregnancy brain, I guess.

I probably have the most "academic moments" in my family, and am the least academic.

I call it a "Brain fart".

brainfarts (see? great minds and all that crap.)

My face is hurting to avoid laughing. It was locking the fridge that did it.

What excuse do the rest of us blockheads have when we do stuff that's stupid like that? Senior moments? Blonde moments?

Heh, I've got a friend who is both an academic and a blonde and while he's what I consider generally saavy about day to day stuff, manages to have more than his fair share of "moments". I'm guessing that must be double jeopardy.

My question is, who are the people who don't have these kinds of events?