I think that most women don't orgasm just from vaginal intercourse -- they need clitoral stimulation, too.

This is ALSO something that Dr. Drew says quite regularly.

I think that most women don't orgasm just from vaginal intercourse -- they need clitoral stimulation, too.

This is ALSO something that Dr. Drew says quite regularly.

And, speaking for my people, we appreciate the hell out of it.

Yay, vw!

There's a good chance that it's not psychiatric in nature, but physical, Gris.

I was about to say the very opposite, but as I'm a young twenty-something woman, I assume all twenty-something women are like me.

Does she masturbate at all, Gris? Because that might help take some of the pressure off her feeling like she owes you something (but not in a bad way!) - If she can take time figuring out what she likes. The history of mood disorders and drugs would also lead me to think that problem is psychological. But that's just my $00.02.

And finally, I think that most women don't orgasm just from vaginal intercourse -- they need clitoral stimulation, too.

This I more than know. Actually, GG and I have not had intercourse, and will almost certainly not be doing so anytime soon. I have built my sexual experiences on clitoral stimulation.

She's 24, so, yes, pretty young. I know that she's not at her sexual peak by any means, but the extreme suddenness with which she can lose interest seems a bit beyond the norm, to me.

Dr. Betty is fun to read, though the incredible amount of book-pimping is getting a bit annoying, and I haven't really read anything yet beyond the standard advice most decent sex books (of which I've read several - I'm a big researcher) would give. Maybe I'll drop by a B&N and skim her books.

ETA: No, Jars, she doesn't. I'm trying to convince her to try, sometimes. It's an uphill battle, though. Why so many women feel odd about it has always been a mystery to me.

This I more than know.

Then you ARE a good boyfriend! Seriously.

Gris, I think Sean's point is useful. It's really not uncommon for a woman in her early 20s to have trouble reaching an orgasm. From my experience, many women need to learn/explore their sexuality in a way that tends to be more complex than what men experience. (Not for all women, of course. Some know it immediately.)

But I've known a number of women who had to learn how to let their body go, explore a number of things to find out what worked for them, to learn how to let the orgasm build.

And even aside from the issue of orgasms, I think this is often true for young women and their sexuality. That there's a slower, more involved process in learning and knowing their body.

The good news is, this is an invitation to explore. I would definitely recommend trying to go slower with clitoral stimulation if she's getting an overamped response. The trick is that she needs to find and hold onto the thread of that desire as you're unwinding it slowly. This is one way you can help her learn her body. If she's open to it, you might also want to talk to her about her fantasies. And then...tongues, fingers and/or vibrators in new places. Heh. Just got a visual of Richard Pryor's bit: "Now just relax while I kickstart this thing. VRMMMMMMMMM!"

I'm trying to convince her to try, sometimes.

I really do think it might help, although it's obviously something only she can decide to do. There are all kinds of benefits -- not just a self-esteemy sense of comfort with her body, but stronger physical responses (it's conditioning, yo!), and knowing in more detail what she's feeling -- so that even if she's not able to articulate these things just yet, she can at least feel when she's approaching that losing-interest point and adjust positions, guide you, do something about the situation herself, etc. If she's not even familiar with the feeling, all she can do is, umm, receive without even having the tools for good feedback.

I wish I had advice to offer Gris, but the basics seem to be covered above. I commend you for wanting and caring about this. That should be a big turn-on on its own.

Go vw. See, we had faith in you!!!

As for CJ. I don't know if it was an accident or not yet. Will find out more this afternoon. While I would hate for this to be a big deal over an accident, he still needs to be responsible for the results of his actions, whether they were the intended result or not.

I really don't want to use baseball as a punishment. I think the team spirit and the activity have many more benefits. I'm just grasping at straws.

And if today wasn't fun enough, I just spent 30 minutes talking with my program manager about the whole hourly/salaried thing. It was not the most pleasant conversation, but I think I held my own. He want me on the contract and all that...but if I'm salaried then work has to shift and I'll have to hussle for other work. It is more complicated than that, but that is the basics.

Current status is I got the $ and the status change is on hold until the end of the first quarter. Fine, whatever. But apparently "someone" is pushing for the change cause I am going to sue if I don't get the status change by April 1st. That was news to me. Honestly - at this point, I really don't care how I charge my time or how I'm classified. I just want my name to be out of this. When/if they change everyone in my position, then change me to - but until then, just drop it.

I think a lot of young women cause themselves stress by being so goal-oriented about orgasms.

Just do stuff that feels nice. Stop stuff that isnt. Enjoy what is happening because that is what matters. Orgasms are great and fun but they're not the only good-feeling thing about sex.