Here is your cup of coffee.  Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid.

Xander ,'Chosen'


Spike's Bitches 28: For the Safety of Puppies...and Christmas!  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


-t - Dec 26, 2005 9:48:34 am PST #1700 of 10001
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

Hee! Great pins!

Oh, and thanks Kristin and everyone else for the new home gladness, it's really wonderful. Didn't you just move, Kristin, or are you just about to?


Fay - Dec 26, 2005 9:53:52 am PST #1701 of 10001
"Fuck Western ideologically-motivated gender identification!" Sulu gasped, and came.

See, that sort of thing drives me mad. Because, before Osiris died, Anubis was all the main honcho. Then Osiris lost his penis and Anubis was all, -blink- You're dead and have no penis. How'd that happen?

And Osiris was like, Shut up. I have to redecorate. To which Anubis was respectful and said, Uh, you do remember this is my domain, right? To which Osiris laugh and laugh and laugh and demoted Anubis.

And now Anubis runs around in the skimpy outfit, doing all the work involved with ruling the underworld, while Osiris gets the sparkly crown and the jewels, and the pimp canes. Osiris reaps all kinds of benefits, but what does Anubis get? A footnote. I know I should pity the penis-less god, but I have too much love for Anubis.

Laughing too hard. Cannot breathe. In danger of laughing self to death, and getting to speak to both deities in person.

blink

Heh heh heh heh.

Horrifyingly, with the newly-discovered Oz-like laconicness & blinking, and the skimpy outfit, I find myself actually on board the fancying Anubis Train. Damn.


sj - Dec 26, 2005 10:31:13 am PST #1702 of 10001
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."

I'm home. I survived. It actually wasn't a bad day because cashiers aren't allowed to do returns because we always "mess them up". So the managers had a bad day doing returns, while the cashiers just had an evenly paced day doing sales. When I got home Dave was just finishing his morning coffee. We're going to eat yummy leftovers tonight and go see The Chronicles of Narnia tonight.


beth b - Dec 26, 2005 10:51:02 am PST #1703 of 10001
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!

that's just perfect, sj. I could never decide if the extra money being head cashier made up for the fun of doing returns. At least when I worked for Express the return policy was " of course we'll take it back. and I think it was for 30 days after xmas we gave everyone cash back. made it easy and almost pleasent for all


Almare - Dec 26, 2005 10:58:36 am PST #1704 of 10001
"My drink preference does not indicate my sexual preference. "

Horrifyingly, with the newly-discovered Oz-like laconicness & blinking, and the skimpy outfit, I find myself actually on board the fancying Anubis Train. Damn.

See, most people think it's about the Jackal, but it's not. It's all about the head, really, and the brains and the courage to work for a complete ninny that really doesn't have any balls. He has the Ultimate Knowledge any other judge type god has, because he used to be judge, jury, and executioner! ((Let's be nice and ignore the fact that mostly he's just the Baliff and the Janitor now))

Plus, the area below the neck is super super pretty. He has a shiny model body, with Rodney McKay's brain, and pretty Jackal head. The only downside to his skimpy outfit, is there isn't a breeze in the Underworld. On the otherhand, when he's anywhere else, he's all "Whoops," and "Hello Mr. President." It's rather pleasant, really. But no pinching the cheeks, because he is Rodney McKay, and will bludgeon you to death with Theoretical Physics until you apologize and remember to keep the hands away from his ass vacinity.

Additional, he's super powerful, super cool, and his wife is totally cool with having an open relationship half the time, and rather Anya-ish the other half of the time, so he's definately hetero, unlike some of the other Gods out there, and Loki, you totally know this is a shout out to you, you weird "I Love Everything that Has A Pulse" firestarting freak.

EDIT: Loki, serious, I don't care how good that...whatever was in bed, no one else is crazy enough to touch your daughter's mother.

EDIT2: How were you able to even create Fenrir?

EDIT3: I take it back, I don't want to know. You have a worse taste in sex than Zeus, and dude, you know that guy does.

EDIT4: But not first hand I hope, because disturbingly enough, he is your type.

EDIT5: I am in a very very bad place right now, so I'm stopping!


Fay - Dec 26, 2005 11:10:23 am PST #1705 of 10001
"Fuck Western ideologically-motivated gender identification!" Sulu gasped, and came.

t is broken


SailAweigh - Dec 26, 2005 2:20:44 pm PST #1706 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb

Damn, Almare, you should film that and show it every Christmas!

t lays gasping in Fay's arms


Almare - Dec 26, 2005 2:49:42 pm PST #1707 of 10001
"My drink preference does not indicate my sexual preference. "

Damn, Almare, you should film that and show it every Christmas!

....

Zeus/Loki is an RPS of badness, set at one of Bacchus' Bacchenal's, where someone muddled the Ambrosia with Pan's E and slipped it into Hera's cup, since that's the only time Hera would EVER suggest her husband do Seven Minutes In Heaven, which would of course be ignored since everyone is really drunk and randy, so she'd just shove them both into a closet and walk away and at the end of the night, someone would go in there looking for a room and see a really turned on Sphinx/Harpy thing that vaguely resembles Woody Allen and is also on fire in horrible horrible places, which then results in THE ENTIRE WORLD WOULD IMPLODE and I hate myself for creating the run on sentence of EVIL!

I will never ever be able to look any god in the eye ever again. If I'm lucky, Revelations won't happen in this lifetime, because I'll snicker ever time Jesus talks about Greece or Norway and start muttering things about Xander, Vikings, and ugly, ugly bulls hiding from psycho wives.

Which brings me back to why I love Anubis. Someone, please stop me.


WindSparrow - Dec 26, 2005 2:59:13 pm PST #1708 of 10001
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

Oh no, Almare, don't stop on account of us.

Whatcha think of Tyr/Baldir?


Almare - Dec 26, 2005 3:10:09 pm PST #1709 of 10001
"My drink preference does not indicate my sexual preference. "

Oh My God, that sentence made me choak on AIR!

The very thought!!!! Falls apart giggling maddly

Baldir would be all willing but shy and sweet, and Tyr is so innocently hetero!

Baldir: Hey, Tyr, you aren't...

Tyr: Aren't what? Bored? Well, now that you mention it, I would like a quick tumble with a nymph or something.

Baldir: What I mean is, what do you think of Ganymede?

Tyr: She's a lovely woman. Rather flat chested, but hot. She has more leg hair than I do, and that is not the kind of woman I like.

Baldir: You do realize that Ganymede a guy right?

Tyr: Ha! Very funny! Ganymede is Zeus' concubine! She is a most richeous vigorous woman! And She looks lovely in that pink feminine chiton.

Baldir: Okay, yeah, Gan does wear girl's clothes but, what I mean is, would you ever want to, or what I mean is would you ever consider us... takingaquicktumbleoutinabarn???? -blush-blush-blush-

Tyr: If you wanted to spar, you should have just said so! I will fight any one you wish.

Baldir: No, what I mean is, do you want to have an affair? With me?

Tyr: Let us find some large breasted women and gorge our thirst for breast upon them!

Baldir: ...... Fine! I give up! I'm going to go find Ganymede.

Tyr: Have fun! Must go find myself manly aftershave and comb out my chest hair. See you at the meeting.

I can't picture them in any way together, the only way they would ever be involoved, is if Baldir wasn't a man, had never been a man, and would never become a man.