Wait, are they those Futurama brain worms where you suddenly get all smart and charming and get your life together? Cause I could use a case of those.

No, these are Invader Zim brain worms. They make you stupider.

Feel free to inquire of anybody whose actions are profoundly stupid: "HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WORMS!?!"

"HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WORMS!?!"

What's funny is that, in my head, I can hear *you*, not Zim, saying that.

Feel free to inquire of anybody whose actions are profoundly stupid: "HAVE YOU THE BRAIN WORMS!?!"

It works best if you wait a few seconds and then follow up with "YOU! OBEY THE FIST!"

I begin to see the problem. Clearly, someone gave me the wrong brain worms.

Right now my boss has some kind of brain worms. She can't even send me an ordinary question type email without sounding like a raving bitca.

She should take her surly sinusitis self back home and soak her head until she's safe for human company.

Curses. I wished blinding, searing-pain-inducing sinusitis on her yesterday, but I could've sworn I included STAYING THE FUCK HOME in that wish.

I'm really sorry, honey.

I am wrongly irritated with my grandma.

She hasn't finished the obit to put it in any of the papers. She said she knew she was avoiding it because it was the last thing and it seemed so final, and I couldn't IMAGINE having to write and submit an obit for Joe, but...I want to read it and share it and maybe start to heal myself.

I am a horrid cow.

Why don't you offer to do it for her, Aimee?

She might like reading it from another perspective and she could make changes as necessary. It'd likely take a burden off her.

Happy Birthday, sumi!

{{ChiKat}} Better birthdays in the future, I promise. Also, resolution~ma.

Jessica, verily, your cow-irkers all suffer from having the brain worms. You need to tell them that.

Making it~ma for vw and you-can-do-it~ma to juliana.

Other than that, I got nothing. I am boring. But not bored, because all of you keep me very amused with pictures of babies and cute kitty stories. And, sometimes, very, very ugly shoes that there are no explanation for. Also, sometime in the future, a picture of ND and his Ovation. Soon! I command it.

The wife of my icky co-worker (who likes to tell me he doesn't watch TV and thinks he should get rid of the one he has because his wife watches too much) just went into his office to put fresh flowers and candy on his desk. She has been doing this every week since we hired him a year ago, but I find it creepy. Too Stepford wife, rather than sweet gesture.