My officemate just sent me an email saying she hopes my "stepdad" will be okay and that "the stroke is too severe." Bah! Sometimes you want to look your emails over before you send them.

(I suppose "stepfather" sounds weirdly formal -- it's just that he only married my mother this year and I've only met him a handful of times, so "stepdad" is kind of odd for me.)

Thank you all for your ma. My mom has to teach her classes and things and then will drive up to see him, so I won't know what's going on for a while. Will keep you up to date.

quick poll:

someone close to me just suffered from a crappy breakup. I guess she thought they were taking a break but just found out they'd actually broke up. Anyway, she's in a really bad, bad way. Should I go over there even if she protests to get her out of the house at least? Or should I listen to potential protests and back off until she's ready?

Should I go over there even if she protests to get her out of the house at least? Or should I listen to potential protests and back off until she's ready?

I'd say go over, and be prepared to just watch TV or summat and just be there if she dosn't feel like going out. Maybe bring some Chinese food.

ask her why she demands that you be reliable ( as in pay her to keep your place eve if you aren't there) how she can be so unreliable. Of course - another option is to get other parents invovled. I have Vetren's day of - because I work for a public angency. Oddly, more people get upset if we aren't closed , because it would be disrespectful. But DH doesn't have it offor most anyone else, i know. i am guessing there are some other parents that ae unhappy with the last minute notification

well, it kind of depends on the person. if I tell people to back off, I mean it. but, I have a friend that tells people that she wants to be alone, but she really wants people to call her so she can feel loved. is she a person who is honest with others about her feelings?

Should I go over there even if she protests to get her out of the house at least?

I would bring over wine, dvds, and junk food of choice. Then, if she really doesn't want company, she can keep them anyway. If she just doesn't want to talk about it, you can watch the dvds and at least she'll have some company.

Yeah. I think I'll "insist" unless she pushes back.

I asked her if she wanted to get dinner (this morning) and she said, "I don't even know how I'm going to get through the next 10 minutes, I can't even think about dinner plans."

Heartbreaking.

Edited to put insist in quotes, because obviously I won't do anything she doesn't want. I just don't think she knows to vocalize what she wants, so I will step in a little.

Drat, I meant to say this before: much ~ma for Emily's stepfather.

Incidentally, "stepfather" is much nicer than " that thing my mother is married to" which is how I think of mine.

I'd go over. bring food - otr offer to get food. don't force her out now. In a couple of weeks - that the force her out time.

Nora, I'd go with your instinct on this one. I think that if you show up with chocolate/ice cream or some other cure for a broken heart (a doctor friend of mine tells me the cure is a Benedryl and a shot of vodka) because that's what feels right to you, it's good.