Yeah. I think I'll "insist" unless she pushes back.
I asked her if she wanted to get dinner (this morning) and she said, "I don't even know how I'm going to get through the next 10 minutes, I can't even think about dinner plans."
Heartbreaking.
Edited to put insist in quotes, because obviously I won't do anything she doesn't want. I just don't think she knows to vocalize what she wants, so I will step in a little.
Drat, I meant to say this before: much ~ma for Emily's stepfather.
Incidentally, "stepfather" is much nicer than " that thing my mother is married to" which is how I think of mine.
I'd go over. bring food - otr offer to get food. don't force her out now. In a couple of weeks - that the force her out time.
Nora, I'd go with your instinct on this one. I think that if you show up with chocolate/ice cream or some other cure for a broken heart (a doctor friend of mine tells me the cure is a Benedryl and a shot of vodka) because that's what feels right to you, it's good.
Not knowing your friend it is hard to say, but showing up with comfort food and a movie is usually a good way to help her chill and maybe open up.
Nora, from the sound of it, the bringing comfort for an evening in sounds like a better plan than dragging her out. Main thing is, you are there for her. And if it does seem like getting her out of the house is a good idea when you get there, well, you can play it by ear.
"stepfather" is much nicer than "that thing my mother is married to"
I use "My father's third wife" when I have to refer to her. Even though they have been married 16 years, she has never been a "step-mother" or "step-mom" or anything like that to me.
seriously, if she can't plan the next 10 min. show up , but be prepared to leave. For me, I am a 24-48 hour wallower. I get tired of the wallowing , no matter how bad I feel. However, over something seriousI might go in and out of wallow zone for awhile.
she's sought solace at her folks' for the day, so I'll see what's going on once it's a little closer to quitting time. They might be doing well with providing the comfort without my help...
That sounds good Nora. flexibility is the key.