She was frustrated with me, because this is the second time we've had to reschedule. And it's not even for her class.

Ok...I'm off to my first class. Wish me no-tears~ma.

I don't think I can do this. Something's gotta give, and I don't know what. So, in the meantime, it's all gonna go. That's my pattern. I'm trying desperately to break it, but it's not working.

Is there a specific coping mechanism for dealing with an emotional linchpin?

Radical acceptance sounds like a good plan. I'm sorry about the start of Monday vw.

I'm privately pleased that DH wasn't here for the teen meltdown this morning. (Don't tell) When Jr loses control and gets all hormoney my peaceful and calm temperament seems to bring him around in relatively short order. Sr on the other hand tends to have this competitive macho "you will do as I say now" bullshit response which just inflames the whole situation. I end up wanting to put them both in time out. At least this morning there was only one person yelling. Less stressful for me that way.

I am grateful that there is something he loves enough that banning it might get him to do his work. At least you people understand that he won’t get into the college basketball program of his dreams on height alone. He consistently gets 97-99%tile on all the tests. He only has to hand in assignments to be a 4.0+ student. He even gets extra points for the honors classes.

Damage done. Overturned chairs, bent curtain rod from yanking his cow curtains, clothes and debris all over floor (his room), floor lamp maybe broken, picture in hallway crashed to floor broken glass. Mom’s peaceful morning was a complete loss.

Oh well, hopefully he will get this before he is 7’ and 200 lbs punching holes in the wall.

I'm privately pleased that DH wasn't here for the teen meltdown this morning. (Don't tell) When Jr loses control and gets all hormoney my peaceful and calm temperament seems to bring him around in relatively short order. Sr on the other hand tends to have this competitive macho "you will do as I say now" bullshit response which just inflames the whole situation.

My FiL does this exact same thing with my 17 year old BiL. It's counter productive. Really.

Laura, much peaceful household-ma and getting it -ma for the boy.

Gross Generalization: I think that a lot of times, Fathers and Sons tend to have an issues sort of thing, the same way that a lot of times, Mothers and Daughters tend to have an issues sort of thing. They manifest differently, but it's still there. And it seems to me there's sometimes a better rapport between the opposite sex parent. I'd like to talk to same sex parents of adolescents and see what usually happens.

oww.. destrution on top of everything else. I am glad you can remain calm, but eventually I hope that the consequences of destruction start mattering to him too.

Funny weekend story:

While travelling through very Southern Indiana two weeks ago, my sister lost one of her bags when it fell out of the back of their van at a truck stop. Since DH and I were on the same highway this past weekend, we thought we'd stop and check the lost and found at the truck stop or see if anyone turned in a bag (yeah, slim chance but worth a try).

DH walks up to the counter and asks if anyone found a black duffle bag and turned it in. The lady searched her memory, paused and said, "No...no bag. But some fella lost a shirt that we found. Are you Kenneth Cole?"

DH nearly choked. But he just smiled and said, "Why, no. No I'm not. Thanks, anyway."

So people in Southern Indiana now know that Kenneth Cole is not a short, balding man from Ohio.

The lady searched her memory, paused and said, "No...no bag. But some fella lost a shirt that we found. Are you Kenneth Cole?"

DH nearly choked. But he just smiled and said, "Why, no. No I'm not. Thanks, anyway."

Snerk

I'm not pleased with the destruction part, but he will have to fix or replace what broke. I don't really think that I can tame 13 yo hormones instantly to prevent screaming and tossing chairs, but I hope that he will learn quickly that for his actions there are consequences.

I'm actually better with him than his father. I still haven't quite driven home my point that I don't think that screaming and throwing stuff teaches kids not to scream and throw stuff. He can't comprehend how I stay so calm.

Our compromise is that I deal with Brendon because they are too alike and he deals with Bobby because we are too alike. Not the best solution, but this parenting thing is a work in progress.

Good luck with all that, Laura. I just had a sister, so the raising of boys is something of a mystery to me. My sister used to get into screaming fights with my Mom (and now they're far closer than Mom and I), but I don't remember property damage.