The lady searched her memory, paused and said, "No...no bag. But some fella lost a shirt that we found. Are you Kenneth Cole?"

DH nearly choked. But he just smiled and said, "Why, no. No I'm not. Thanks, anyway."

Hee.

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Snerk

I'm not pleased with the destruction part, but he will have to fix or replace what broke. I don't really think that I can tame 13 yo hormones instantly to prevent screaming and tossing chairs, but I hope that he will learn quickly that for his actions there are consequences.

I'm actually better with him than his father. I still haven't quite driven home my point that I don't think that screaming and throwing stuff teaches kids not to scream and throw stuff. He can't comprehend how I stay so calm.

Our compromise is that I deal with Brendon because they are too alike and he deals with Bobby because we are too alike. Not the best solution, but this parenting thing is a work in progress.

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Good luck with all that, Laura. I just had a sister, so the raising of boys is something of a mystery to me. My sister used to get into screaming fights with my Mom (and now they're far closer than Mom and I), but I don't remember property damage.

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Our compromise is that I deal with Brendon because they are too alike and he deals with Bobby because we are too alike. Not the best solution, but this parenting thing is a work in progress.

Oh, I disagree that that's not the best solution. It's at least a good one. And it makes sense. Obviously, Brendon gets through to you, so if Bobby's like you, there you go, and vice versa.

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Bobby makes me crazy. I haven't a clue how to get him to perform. Then again I can't imagine any way my mother could have managed to get me to do the right thing either. Probably better to let dad have a shot.

I may be way too calm and philosophical about the whole thing. Both DH and I were less than great students in HS. I dropped out to spend more time with boys and drugs and DH graduated with something like a 1.6gpa. Then we both went on to graduate with honors from college and are pretty much successful adults. I don't think that it is certain failure to not do well in middle school. It is however my task to do everything in my power to see that he does succeed. It would just be so much easier to be a bad parent.

DH gets all in the moment and doesn’t look at the big picture. It is like a personal affront if the kids don’t hop when I tell them to do something. I just expect kids to be kids. (This may be the extra 11 years life experience thing too)

So today I am bitching about my husband and kids and scaring all the parents of infants. Hee.

edit for grammar - twice

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I don't think that it is certain failure to not do well in middle school. It is however my task to do everything in my power to see that he does succeed. It would just be so much easier to be a bad parent.

Me, neither. I do think (for my own that is, I don't have a clue what to do with your boys, because you're that much ahead of me), right now, with Ben (who is too like me, although I still have an edge with him over Scott, somehow) that it's the time to try to persuade him to want to overcome some of his bad habits (that he gets from me), that are going to make middle school (next year--they start in 5th grade, here) and high school more difficult.

We just started school the week after Labor Day. He was already woefully behind on stuff as of last week. So, we had a Hell Week (Hellish for me, as well as for him) where I rode him fairly strictly, until he was all caught up. I'm hoping he bought into my overriding theme which was, "If you just bust your butt right now, you'll be back on top, and maintaining is ALWAYS easier than catching up."

He seems to have bought into it, but he's a nine year old boy.

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Bobby has had 3 detentions for not doing his homework. Then he got a 4th for me not signing the 3rd one properly which I refuse to have him serve. We started August 11th.

We'll have a conference this week. I'm telling TPTB that this detention crap isn't working so we need a new plan. They don't allow homework to count for grades in elementary school in this county. I think it has a lot to do with the % of kids that don't have parents able to really help them properly at home. Since it doesn't count for grades the only power school has to get them to do the work is detention. Yes, we have to make him do his work, but detention doesn't mean anything to him. It just means I have to pick up car pool kids at the bus stop then pick up mine later at school. I won't be punished by school.

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Homework doesn't count for grades?? Damn.

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(((Emily)))

Laura, good luck with the school conference.

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I'm in book heaven. Or I will be when I get home. A coworker's son was getting rid of a bunch of paperbacks and she asked me if I wanted them. I thought she was talkig about a grocery bag or so. But it's two paper boxes overflowing with books. I can't wait to get home and see what I have. Plus she said if he wants to get rid of more I can have them.

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