Canned tuna for the purposes of attracting a pet cat's attention.

Oh! Yeah. There are thoughts here I refuse to fully unravel. And ahhhhh!

And yet, I CAN'T STOP. I think I need help.

I know, I know. It's just not right.

I hope msbelle skips more than she skims when she comes back from her wee hiatus.

So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now we’re gonna be face-to-face
And I’ll lay right down in my favorite place
And now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c’mon
Now I’m ready to close my eyes
And now I’m ready to close my mind
And now I’m ready to feel your hand
And lose my heart on the burning sands
And now I wanna be your dog
And now I wenna be your dog
Now I wanna be your dog
Well c’mon

If the... ahem, incident, had taken place in PA would Rick Santorum be talking about it as a campaign issue. "See! This is where liberalism leads! Homosexuality, man on man, man on dog, man on horse..." That's "horse on man," Senator. "Whatever. I'm for a culture of life, virtue, love of God, country, and capitalism. What do Democrats support? Horsefucking." Would his campaign manager tell him to drop it? "Rick, our polls show that pretty much everybody supports your stand on horsefucking. They also show that pretty much no one - pro, con, and neutral - wants to think about it. And every time you mention it that's all they can think about for, oh, for much too long. They just don't like it. It's hurting your numbers."

And you can't really, um, stimulate a horse.

Sure you can. Jerking off critters is an essential step in breeding by artificial insemination.

I actually saw a film of lesbian bestiality.

Why? I mean....why?

Sure you can. Jerking off critters is an essential step in breeding by artificial insemination.

I remember the early TDS episode about the person who worked the Turkeys.

I remember the early TDS episode about the person who worked the Turkeys.

I assume the job title is Turkey Jerker.

Fowl Flogger?

eta:

Fowl Fluffer?

Turkey baster?

But I'm sure it's more than possible to make the horse stand there (horses are restrained for legit reasons, aren't they) while you bone it.

Yeah. I don't quite understand how you get the horse to bone you, especially if you're male. I guess you just crouch there and sort of guide the horse in? The whole thing just keeps disturbing me, and yet I cannot look away,

(I once hung out with a guy who thought it would be funny to show me bestiality porn, except he either lost his nerve or couldn't find anything really shocking, so my need for brain bleach was limited.)