that's cold, dude.

It is, Lilty. This is where you get to show that you're a better person. Even if the invitation never comes, you can still write a heartfelt note that you wish him every happiness. If you mean it, that is. Otherwise, you can write the same note and hope that it makes him feel guilty.

Damn, I'm not through with the petty yet this morning, am I?

The one and only person who gets a pass from me on this issue is my almost-90 year old grandmother,

I give passes for people like this also, like my Nursery School teacher who send me things under my Not!Name, because they find other ways to show me they know who I am.

However, if the bank ever stops accepting checks made out to NoraW, then she'll get gently educated...

Yeah, we've gotten a couple checks written to Mr. & Mrs. Curtis, mostly from his family. shrug. As long as they're still valid, I'm not kicking up a fuss.

People totally get passes from me on my Not!Name.

I'd get up in arms or outraged, but I had fifteen years to prepare for the fact that, even if I kept my own name as my sister did, the Aged Relatives would still insist on calling me by His Last Name. Thus, I was resigned to being a Marcontell socially, if not legally. 'Sides, it helps me keep my work and web life separate.

I keep wondering if, as Lillian's a Marcontell, I should just take the plunge and legally add it after McRae, but you know, I'm too freaking lazy to bother with it.

The aged relatives can have their pass. Someone from my generation, who doesn't use her husband's name herself, who has had various correspondance from us in which I've never used my husband's name? I'm getting a little annoyed. Most (younger) people seem to ask if they're not sure.

I wonder about giving kids, should we have any, my name. It's not pretty, but it's mine, and there's the "no brothers" argument regarding no one to pass it on. My oldest sister used it as a middle name for her kids, so it's there but rarely seen as anything but an initial. So, sometimes I think that I may argue for my first name as a middle name for any girl we might have, as the initial is the same.

you can still write a heartfelt note that you wish him every happiness. If you mean it, that is. Otherwise, you can write the same note and hope that it makes him feel guilty.

And thus, why I love Sparky so. I think it'd be a bit of both. Oh, I AM a spiteful bitch.

I mean, it's not like we're even living far away- we're still in the same town. We still have (although less frequent) poker nights!

That said, Lilty, there are lots of reasons why wedding guest lists turn out the way they do. So, if it's really on your mind you might just want to ask him outright the why of it.

Wait, so you're not legally a Marcontell?

Sparky, I'd have to ask him before too long if it's clear that I'm really not invited. I wouldn't have even known, but my other best old friend asked me if I'd gotten mine yet. GettingMarried!Friend had called him for his apartment number, but not mine. (Until last week, I lived right downstairs.)

I hate to be all growly about this, but, really. Old, old friends. And everyone else (except the friend he fell out with, obviously) is going.

Maybe this will sound very High School, but can your other best old friend ask him? tell him this is upsetting to you and that you deserve reassurance or an explanation?

Lilty, it sounds like you have every right to be growly. That sucks. I hope you invite is just slow to reach you.