Maybe this will sound very High School, but can your other best old friend ask him? tell him this is upsetting to you and that you deserve reassurance or an explanation?

Lilty, it sounds like you have every right to be growly. That sucks. I hope you invite is just slow to reach you.

Someone from my generation, who doesn't use her husband's name herself, who has had various correspondance from us in which I've never used my husband's name? I'm getting a little annoyed. Most (younger) people seem to ask if they're not sure.

Oh, don't misunderstand: that would totally be annoying.

It would have driven my sister up the wall. And probably has, come to think of it. I'm quite serious when I say that I'm not bothered because I had fifteen years to prepare myself for people assuming or just being passive-aggressive dopes about the issue. (She got married in '84, I got married in '99.)

Sometimes, I think part of the reason she doesn't answer her phone is that she got sick of people calling for Mrs McQuinn. Though it was always funny to hear her say, "No such person," slam down the phone, and mutter, "Asshole."

I wonder about giving kids, should we have any, my name. It's not pretty, but it's mine, and there's the "no brothers" argument regarding no one to pass it on.

I think it's a pretty name.

Wait, so you're not legally a Marcontell?

Nope!

Just socially.

Another advantage? I can tell mail from spam, because 99% of people sending me mail will use Marcontell.

But... I sent you mail using Marcontell!

ETA: Oh. I read too fast.

When I got married, I kept the McVay as a middle name. And Emeline is Emeline Jayne McVay Conat.

If anything, it's easier for future geneaologists. (Isn't that an oxymoron)

I think it's a pretty name.

Thanks. ::bats eyelashes at Plei::

I sometimes wonder if I might have considered taking my husband's name if his name was important to him. His last name comes from a father he never knew and until very recently he never knew the relatives with that last name. So, even for him, it's sort of just the sound you make after his first name, nothing more.

It was actually when we talked about picking something new for both of us (our mothers' maiden names were discussed) that I knew I wasn't going to switch.

My life is annoying for stupid reasons. I have this list of people to call for this excellent city council candidate, but we have one pen in the house and I suspect the cat of playing with it. grr. Argh. So if I call people, I'll lose track. Stupid life.

But... I sent you mail using Marcontell!

I know! And it's great, because when I see Marcontell on something, it flags that it's someone I know!

I have no great investment in what last name people use for me, again, on account of my sister's issues.

I had two main reasons for not changing my name: too many combined syllables and I'd just ordered new checks.

I had two main reasons for not changing my name: too many combined syllables and I'd just ordered new checks.

I've sometimes said it was the thought of the line at the DMV that kept me from changing my name.