The aged relatives can have their pass. Someone from my generation, who doesn't use her husband's name herself, who has had various correspondance from us in which I've never used my husband's name? I'm getting a little annoyed. Most (younger) people seem to ask if they're not sure.

I wonder about giving kids, should we have any, my name. It's not pretty, but it's mine, and there's the "no brothers" argument regarding no one to pass it on. My oldest sister used it as a middle name for her kids, so it's there but rarely seen as anything but an initial. So, sometimes I think that I may argue for my first name as a middle name for any girl we might have, as the initial is the same.

you can still write a heartfelt note that you wish him every happiness. If you mean it, that is. Otherwise, you can write the same note and hope that it makes him feel guilty.

And thus, why I love Sparky so. I think it'd be a bit of both. Oh, I AM a spiteful bitch.

I mean, it's not like we're even living far away- we're still in the same town. We still have (although less frequent) poker nights!

That said, Lilty, there are lots of reasons why wedding guest lists turn out the way they do. So, if it's really on your mind you might just want to ask him outright the why of it.

Wait, so you're not legally a Marcontell?

Sparky, I'd have to ask him before too long if it's clear that I'm really not invited. I wouldn't have even known, but my other best old friend asked me if I'd gotten mine yet. GettingMarried!Friend had called him for his apartment number, but not mine. (Until last week, I lived right downstairs.)

I hate to be all growly about this, but, really. Old, old friends. And everyone else (except the friend he fell out with, obviously) is going.

Maybe this will sound very High School, but can your other best old friend ask him? tell him this is upsetting to you and that you deserve reassurance or an explanation?

Lilty, it sounds like you have every right to be growly. That sucks. I hope you invite is just slow to reach you.

Someone from my generation, who doesn't use her husband's name herself, who has had various correspondance from us in which I've never used my husband's name? I'm getting a little annoyed. Most (younger) people seem to ask if they're not sure.

Oh, don't misunderstand: that would totally be annoying.

It would have driven my sister up the wall. And probably has, come to think of it. I'm quite serious when I say that I'm not bothered because I had fifteen years to prepare myself for people assuming or just being passive-aggressive dopes about the issue. (She got married in '84, I got married in '99.)

Sometimes, I think part of the reason she doesn't answer her phone is that she got sick of people calling for Mrs McQuinn. Though it was always funny to hear her say, "No such person," slam down the phone, and mutter, "Asshole."

I wonder about giving kids, should we have any, my name. It's not pretty, but it's mine, and there's the "no brothers" argument regarding no one to pass it on.

I think it's a pretty name.

Wait, so you're not legally a Marcontell?

Nope!

Just socially.

Another advantage? I can tell mail from spam, because 99% of people sending me mail will use Marcontell.

But... I sent you mail using Marcontell!

ETA: Oh. I read too fast.