That said, Lilty, there are lots of reasons why wedding guest lists turn out the way they do. So, if it's really on your mind you might just want to ask him outright the why of it.

Wait, so you're not legally a Marcontell?

Sparky, I'd have to ask him before too long if it's clear that I'm really not invited. I wouldn't have even known, but my other best old friend asked me if I'd gotten mine yet. GettingMarried!Friend had called him for his apartment number, but not mine. (Until last week, I lived right downstairs.)

I hate to be all growly about this, but, really. Old, old friends. And everyone else (except the friend he fell out with, obviously) is going.

Maybe this will sound very High School, but can your other best old friend ask him? tell him this is upsetting to you and that you deserve reassurance or an explanation?

Lilty, it sounds like you have every right to be growly. That sucks. I hope you invite is just slow to reach you.

Someone from my generation, who doesn't use her husband's name herself, who has had various correspondance from us in which I've never used my husband's name? I'm getting a little annoyed. Most (younger) people seem to ask if they're not sure.

Oh, don't misunderstand: that would totally be annoying.

It would have driven my sister up the wall. And probably has, come to think of it. I'm quite serious when I say that I'm not bothered because I had fifteen years to prepare myself for people assuming or just being passive-aggressive dopes about the issue. (She got married in '84, I got married in '99.)

Sometimes, I think part of the reason she doesn't answer her phone is that she got sick of people calling for Mrs McQuinn. Though it was always funny to hear her say, "No such person," slam down the phone, and mutter, "Asshole."

I wonder about giving kids, should we have any, my name. It's not pretty, but it's mine, and there's the "no brothers" argument regarding no one to pass it on.

I think it's a pretty name.

Wait, so you're not legally a Marcontell?

Nope!

Just socially.

Another advantage? I can tell mail from spam, because 99% of people sending me mail will use Marcontell.

But... I sent you mail using Marcontell!

ETA: Oh. I read too fast.

When I got married, I kept the McVay as a middle name. And Emeline is Emeline Jayne McVay Conat.

If anything, it's easier for future geneaologists. (Isn't that an oxymoron)

I think it's a pretty name.

Thanks. ::bats eyelashes at Plei::

I sometimes wonder if I might have considered taking my husband's name if his name was important to him. His last name comes from a father he never knew and until very recently he never knew the relatives with that last name. So, even for him, it's sort of just the sound you make after his first name, nothing more.

It was actually when we talked about picking something new for both of us (our mothers' maiden names were discussed) that I knew I wasn't going to switch.