Hey, erika, do you use AIM?

Hi Susan. Not part of mob scene, but totally understand it. Hope you get that however it came off it was meant with love - if the Buffistas drive you nuts it is because they care about you.

And thanks to PC. libkitty, and Cindy for the sympathy. Tonight I really felt like I needed it.

TB, I'm wrapped up in my own melodrama tonight and forgot to respond to your post. I hope you feel better soon.

I am at home. GF is at work. All is not right with the world.

Susan, I don't know that anyone was reacting to the fact that you made the call. At least for me (and from what she posted I assume the same is true for erika) it was what you said and how you said what you said about making the call.

I guess what I was trying to do was express the doubts and worries in a safe place, to say, "Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be thinking this, but I'm thinking it. But still, trying to cope, trying to do the right thing."

This is going to seem like a total non sequitir, but God, I miss Diana, Becky, Brook, and Lee right now--the dearest of my college and post-college friends before we scattered to the four winds. Because I really shouldn't be talking about this stuff online, no matter how dear and helpful everyone here is--it'd be better with the personal give-and-take.

ach... Typoboy ! I was hoping you were thru the hard part. so sorry to here there is a big flare up.

I think you are right Susan - about the give and take part. sometimes what spills on to the screen is the best or the worst. I am not a fast typeist - so I tend to think about the consise way to say things. This means the details that would have everyone understanding the whole story get lost. Because of some misunderstandings (It happens when I speak sometimes because I can get very terse when I am tired) , i tend to re rad emotional emails and make sure I at least am giving the details ( even if I still sound crazy )

and missing close friends seems right to me.

I have never been able to get it to work LJ. I'm not sure why.

Typo, I'm so sorry about the flare-up, and I hope it gets sorted out soon.

Looking back at the posts from this afternoon, they do look more like helpfulness and less like being piled upon than they felt when I first read them, in an already agitated state. At the time it felt like one "stop it or you'll make your daughter insane" after another, which when one is already crying one's eyes out, tends to be read as "you're being a terrible mother." But even then I knew that wasn't how it was meant.

And my missing my friends from Philly isn't meant in the least as a slam against this board--it's more homesickness for being able to sit down across the table at a coffeehouse with someone who's known you for forever, can practically read your mind, and knows how to head your panicky tendencies off at the pass before they turn into a big deal. And a big part of that is missing the face-to-faceness of it.

Well, yeah, and they've known you for...a lot of years, right? Sometimes there is no substitute for that. A dear friend's "Shut the hell up!" is sometimes a great gift, but there are a lot of tone things that go into it.(Seriously, everyone I love the most has told me that once. Maybe my affectionate gestures aren't like other people's, therefore. If I suspect a person of humoring me, they are not likely to stay my friend...was I too blunt?)