I am at home. GF is at work. All is not right with the world.
I'm a big girl. Just tell me.
Inara ,'Objects In Space'
Spike's Bitches 24: I'm Very Seldom Naughty.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Glamcookie - Jul 08, 2005 7:00:30 pm PDT #9490 of 10001
I know my own heart and understand my fellow man. But I am made unlike anyone I have ever met. I dare to say I am like no one in the whole world. - Anne Lister
Susan W. - Jul 08, 2005 7:01:35 pm PDT #9491 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
Susan, I don't know that anyone was reacting to the fact that you made the call. At least for me (and from what she posted I assume the same is true for erika) it was what you said and how you said what you said about making the call.
I guess what I was trying to do was express the doubts and worries in a safe place, to say, "Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be thinking this, but I'm thinking it. But still, trying to cope, trying to do the right thing."
This is going to seem like a total non sequitir, but God, I miss Diana, Becky, Brook, and Lee right now--the dearest of my college and post-college friends before we scattered to the four winds. Because I really shouldn't be talking about this stuff online, no matter how dear and helpful everyone here is--it'd be better with the personal give-and-take.
beth b - Jul 08, 2005 7:04:26 pm PDT #9492 of 10001
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!
ach... Typoboy ! I was hoping you were thru the hard part. so sorry to here there is a big flare up.
beth b - Jul 08, 2005 7:11:02 pm PDT #9493 of 10001
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!
I think you are right Susan - about the give and take part. sometimes what spills on to the screen is the best or the worst. I am not a fast typeist - so I tend to think about the consise way to say things. This means the details that would have everyone understanding the whole story get lost. Because of some misunderstandings (It happens when I speak sometimes because I can get very terse when I am tired) , i tend to re rad emotional emails and make sure I at least am giving the details ( even if I still sound crazy )
and missing close friends seems right to me.
erikaj - Jul 08, 2005 7:11:09 pm PDT #9494 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
I have never been able to get it to work LJ. I'm not sure why.
Susan W. - Jul 08, 2005 7:16:05 pm PDT #9495 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
Typo, I'm so sorry about the flare-up, and I hope it gets sorted out soon.
Looking back at the posts from this afternoon, they do look more like helpfulness and less like being piled upon than they felt when I first read them, in an already agitated state. At the time it felt like one "stop it or you'll make your daughter insane" after another, which when one is already crying one's eyes out, tends to be read as "you're being a terrible mother." But even then I knew that wasn't how it was meant.
And my missing my friends from Philly isn't meant in the least as a slam against this board--it's more homesickness for being able to sit down across the table at a coffeehouse with someone who's known you for forever, can practically read your mind, and knows how to head your panicky tendencies off at the pass before they turn into a big deal. And a big part of that is missing the face-to-faceness of it.
erikaj - Jul 08, 2005 7:24:05 pm PDT #9496 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!
Well, yeah, and they've known you for...a lot of years, right? Sometimes there is no substitute for that. A dear friend's "Shut the hell up!" is sometimes a great gift, but there are a lot of tone things that go into it.(Seriously, everyone I love the most has told me that once. Maybe my affectionate gestures aren't like other people's, therefore. If I suspect a person of humoring me, they are not likely to stay my friend...was I too blunt?)
Susan W. - Jul 08, 2005 7:29:52 pm PDT #9497 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
was I too blunt?
Maybe a little, and maybe I misunderstood what you were saying. Too, DH and such real-life confidantes as I have run to the blunt, tough love types, so I kinda crave those old friends' finesse for surrounding the "you're stronger than this, you know it, so buck up" message with lots of reassuring hairpats.
Cass - Jul 08, 2005 7:51:41 pm PDT #9498 of 10001
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
Okay, I caught up.
Hopefully without dreams. I've been having horrid nightmares lately. Last night I dreamed about my grandmother falling off the side of a cliff, among other things. Yeah, I know, metaphor much?It was contagious? Oh bugger... Sorry about that, Kristin.
If it helps, figuring out that 'metaphor much' part seemed to make mine go away. Or talking about. Either way, they seem to have stopped.
I'm not angry, but I'm sure as fuck vindictive.I dearly love Erin. Possibly to tag?
beth b - Jul 08, 2005 7:53:38 pm PDT #9499 of 10001
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!
F2F conversations have a whole different vibe than online. on line it is hard to tell if what some one needs is reassurance or a reminder that there is a pattern going on - also it is easier for me to judge the moods of a listener- even if I am the paniced one.
I've got three things that make me wierd and panicky - DH not being home before midnight.- money esp. unknown amounts due. - and the TV/TIVO not working propperly; I might not watch it, but I need to know it is there.