Hi.

Susan, I understand why the posts would be upsetting to you. At risk of being too blunt, I think what people were commenting on was less the specific concern, and more that you've been worrying so much about Annabel every step of the way, and that was just the latest manifestation. From this side of the computer, it looks like you're at risk of either worrying yourself into a coma or driving both you and Annabel nuts with overprotection.

You have a beautiful, bright, daughter, and you are clearly a very caring mom. I hope you can relax into that.

<butting out>

I was just concerned about your concerns, Susan. Didn't mean to add to your angst. I hope everything turns out okay...it just made me sad, your being hard on yourself...which, okay, pot. Kettle. Black. But I think I understand why Hec and Tep(for instance) bust me for it so very hard. I felt like I would not have been a good friend if I had not said something(And I really do hope Mom did not have to carry that kind of pain around by herself.) It was intended as...affection, and maybe a pep talk if you found something...unexpected. It's not that I blame you for hoping that your kid has a life of the mind or something, because they're cool.

(I've been working on how to say this for a while, Susan, so I am sorry if this again makes you feel piled on, but I do think it needs saying.)

I'm sorry you felt piled on, and I can understand why you did, because there were a lot of us telling you the same thing. I know that is never pleasant, especially when it is something you don't want to hear.

I think it's safe to say that none of us question that you absolutely love your daughter and want the best for her. I'm very sorry if I played any part in making you think otherwise.

The thing is, this isn't the first time you've seemed to get overly worked up about something because something isn't going exactly the way you think things out to be, based on averages and standards. This really seems to be getting in the way of enjoying your daughter.

You said it yourself:

And even more irrationally, I'm getting frustrated with her. Why can't/won't she do this one little thing that would assure me she's developing normally?

We care about you, and Annabel, and we don't want you to drive yourself crazy, because that can't be healthy for you.

Hey, erika, do you use AIM?

Hi Susan. Not part of mob scene, but totally understand it. Hope you get that however it came off it was meant with love - if the Buffistas drive you nuts it is because they care about you.

And thanks to PC. libkitty, and Cindy for the sympathy. Tonight I really felt like I needed it.

TB, I'm wrapped up in my own melodrama tonight and forgot to respond to your post. I hope you feel better soon.

I am at home. GF is at work. All is not right with the world.

Susan, I don't know that anyone was reacting to the fact that you made the call. At least for me (and from what she posted I assume the same is true for erika) it was what you said and how you said what you said about making the call.

I guess what I was trying to do was express the doubts and worries in a safe place, to say, "Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be thinking this, but I'm thinking it. But still, trying to cope, trying to do the right thing."

This is going to seem like a total non sequitir, but God, I miss Diana, Becky, Brook, and Lee right now--the dearest of my college and post-college friends before we scattered to the four winds. Because I really shouldn't be talking about this stuff online, no matter how dear and helpful everyone here is--it'd be better with the personal give-and-take.

ach... Typoboy ! I was hoping you were thru the hard part. so sorry to here there is a big flare up.

I think you are right Susan - about the give and take part. sometimes what spills on to the screen is the best or the worst. I am not a fast typeist - so I tend to think about the consise way to say things. This means the details that would have everyone understanding the whole story get lost. Because of some misunderstandings (It happens when I speak sometimes because I can get very terse when I am tired) , i tend to re rad emotional emails and make sure I at least am giving the details ( even if I still sound crazy )

and missing close friends seems right to me.