I knew about the mites. I have pillow covers and a mattress cover to protect me from the critters.

ION, never buy an Acura and certainly never take a vehicle to the Santa Monica Acura dealership.

and she wanted to frighten me out of my thriftiness before I cheap-assed myself into full-blown asthma. It worked, too.

Does she know you're borderline OCD? 'Cuz she's not helping.

re: dust mites and pillows

I wondered why the pillows were getting heavier. Huh. t snuggles up again in defiance of invaders from the microscopic world

Honestly (I say this as someone whose entire family, including, obviously, me, has horrible allergies and always has), your allergy-preventing $$ are better spent on (in order of importance) (1) a good HEPA filter for the bedroom and (2) allergy shots.

I had to explain this entire situation to my roomie (a teacher), then read some choice bits of all of your letters. She is all but rolling on the floor and screaming "Right on!".

No allergy shots for the breeding or attempting-to-breed, unfortunately.

The doctor did give me a 4-page catalogue from a distributor called National Allergy, but she also crossed out about half the items in it, saying briskly, "Useless for dust mites, useless for dust mites, harmless but doesn't do anything, don't waste your money, get this if you really want it but nobody's ever done a study so it may not help at all," so I don't think she was totally trying to swindle me.

Unless that was part of the con. I'm such a mark.

Still buying the mattress covers, though.

"At least, [s]he's not a bookburner, you Nazi cow."

"Hi, how are you?"
"All right."
"How do you spell 'occasion'?"
"Two c's, one s."
"Hm?"
"Two c's, one s."
"O-C-C-A-T—"
"No. No t."
"No t? You can't just say 'Two c's, one s.' Tell me the whole thing."
"O-C-C-A-S-I-O-N."
"Is that right?"
"...Yeah."
"Okay, how do you spell 'in spite', like 'in spite of something'?"
"That's two words."
"Huh?"
"It's two words."
"So it's 'in', space, 'spite'?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, thanks. Hold on. Dada, it's o-c-c-a-s-i-o-n. All right, thanks, bye."
"Bye."

Sometimes conversations with my mom leave me amused rather than writhing in pain.

billytea has also made my list of FAVORITES.

Sure, that's what you say now, but I also counted how many times you COMM'd me, and it's only happened six times! Where's the praising and extolling of my virtues? Where's the love?

billy, did you tell Prospect Girl that you had help with the riddle from an international group of analysts?

I thought I'd tell her on the date ("I hvae a confession to make"). That way she can't take it back. Well, she can, but I'll still have had a date, just a short one.

We've started playing a game where he'll read me a post, and I have to guess which Buffista wrote it. Nilly and billytea are the easiest to get (take that how you will), but my scores are pretty good across the board.

Hee. I shall take it as a compliment. As something of a self-validation exercise, I recently went back over the archives and collected all my favourite quotes of me into a single file (the stuff that didn't get COMM'd! Honestly, people, sometimes I think you're just not trying), and it's true, I have a pretty distinctive 'voice'. Plus, I crack myself up.

Now that really would be taking the piss.

Ha!

Mr tea and I, however, are destined to live out our lives oceans apart. Well, either that or else we'll randomly meet in Thailand one day, have one perfect night of passion, and then discover that we're supposed to be archnemeses. My plans to teach sign language to the world echidna population will come into direct conflict with all that Mr tea holds dear...

Hee. My parents first met at the local swimming pool, when M decided D was taking too long to dive because he was showing off, and so she pushed him off the diving board. But the second time was at a party, where all the guys and girls were given half of a heart, and they had to find the person whose heart-half fit theirs. M got the host to rig it so she and D got halves of the same heart.

So I'm imagining something similar for finding out we're supposed to be archnemeses, only with a picture of a cartoon demon-face saying "Grrr".

"I do'nt know you, but as a mom, I think it's important for Teachers to be of the highest morals, so I don't like to hear of teacher that are not. I think you are one of X's sisters friends, so I just thank GOD you are not a teacher in my town."

When I was on the Time Faith board, my reply to such posts was generally "Good for you. Have a pop tart."

Hi everyone.

Fabulous letters.

I just went to happy hour with what seemed like a fairly large portion of young Jewish DC. It was fun. Spent lots of time admiring rings, and panicking at the "why am I the only girl here who's not in a relationship?" stuff. Spent more time pondering why I seem to be stuck at "cute" and never "hot." Spent quite a bit of time drinking, as can be be seen by this rambling post which will surely embarrass me tomorrow. Decided I'm too fat. Am now trying to convince myself that drunk dialing is bad and wrong and something I will not do.