I was mad at my mom when she didn't tell me that my dad had been diagnosed with cancer. We were on vacation and she didn't want us to come home early (which we would have done). She knew we'd be home before he was scheduled for surgery. But Still, Hello! Cancer!

ita, that's just craxy.. what they didn't think you'd notice?? I mean teenagers can be dense but not that dense!

To be fair, I didn't tell my mother about my biopsy. I tried to not tell her until after the lumpectomy, but she figured out something was wrong. It's probably not the best approach, but if there were an Olympic medal for worrying, my mother would be a strong contender. I just couldn't take weeks of that.

I was happy my mother told me so a phone message with the word "oncologist" in it was not a shock. People keeping cats in bags should know they have unexpected ways of coming out.

I think the sick/being tested person gets to choose when to tell. It sucks to be out of the loop (thanks for not telling me my dad was in the hospital with his second heart attack until the NEXT DAY, mom), but their needs come first, even if that means bad times for us healthy folk.

Yeah, I get it but still I missed time to be with my dad. He didn't make it out of the surgery so I wish I could have come home early to spend a little more time with him.

what they didn't think you'd notice??

My father ratted her out, as was very sensible.

So I yelled at her. Which, well, teenaged denseness. I'm not a medical worrier, and she's a pro. It was so not the time for me to be offended, even though she was WRONGWRONGWRONG.

As a result, I tend to tell them things a bit sparingly. She's worst case, and I'm all "sure, whatever."

Robin, you really think that having a parent disappear is somehow the better solution? Hell, there were intermediate lies they could have spun, but she had no plans.

Robin, my problem is that my mother always assumes I already know. It's not that she's trying to keep such things from me, it's that she tells everyone else, then THINKS she's told me.

It's really annoying.

The not-finding-out about aunthood thing, mind, was in fact family drama and my mother being childish.

I often rat out my siblings to my mother. She always knows that something is up, so I fill in the blanks.

As a result, I tend to tell them things a bit sparingly. She's worst case, and I'm all "sure, whatever."

Speaking of, how did your MRI turn out for something that might be nothing, or might be serious?

The family doesn't so much leave me out of the loop on purpose. They forget to tell me stuff. I do live away from them and hate the phone, but I email them all the time so it's not like they don't have an opportunity to tell me stuff.