ah...the short version is
A guy goes to the circus. A clown comes out leading a horse and calls, "Will the person sitting in seat 22F come to the front please?"
The guy looks at his ticket and is excited to learn that he's in seat 22F. He runs down to the center ring and goes up to the clown. The clown points at the horse's butt and says, "This is a horse's ass." Then he points to the guy and says, "This is also a horse's ass."
The crowd erupts into uproarious laughter. The guy is humiliated.
He's is totally dejected for weeks. One day as he's walking down the street he sees a poster up in a store window. It reads, "Quick Comeback School." He notices that a new session starts the very next week.
So, the guy goes to Quick Comeback School for a year. He graduates and several days later he sees a billboard proclaiming that the circus is coming back to town. "I'm ready," he thinks.
On the circus' opening day, the guy goes to the box office and requests seat 22F. The show starts and, sure enough, that same clown comes out leading a horse and says, "Will the person sitting in seat 22F come to the front please?"
The guy gets up and struts to the center ring. Again, the clown points at the horse's butt and says, "This is a horse's ass." Then he points to the guy and says, "This is also a horse's ass."
The guy turns to the clown and says, "Fuck you, Clown!"
stephanie -- I was hoping Ellie would be a day later than anticapted so we'd share the same birthday.
OMG lisah I love Fuck You, Clown! I have a friend who tells it brilliantly -- makes a horrible, agonizing, seven-minute-long shaggy dog tale of woe, growing more and more distressed and despairing as one golden opportunity after another for sweet, sweet vengeance is frustrated by fate, and ends actually on his knees, shaking his fists at the sky and howling FUCK YOU, CLOWN! like the words are being ripped from the very soul of his soul.
The fact that he's an exceptionally pretty gothboy with fabulous bone structure and an abject devotion to eyeliner doesn't hurt, either. Not that any of that matters to the joke, but it's mighty fine to gaze upon while he's telling it.
Poop! Ok, so I'm not so good at the swearing thing.
The fact that he's an exceptionally pretty gothboy with fabulous bone structure and an abject devotion to eyeliner doesn't hurt, either.
I bet I'm sometimes pretty when I tell it too! Not pretty gothboy pretty though.
Robin and I have dibs on Hugh Laurie, you House watchers. Just an FYI. We loved him first! (I've adored him since the 1980s.)
I guess I can step off a little, having only loved Hugh since the 90's. Can I borrow him for the occasional weekend or holiday?
Poop! Ok, so I'm not so good at the swearing thing.
Laura is me (though sometimes work frustrations will get me going...) Good news, though, Laura, I find that sometimes a well-placed "Double Drat!" gets a sort of "isn't that cute" chuckle (trying to imagine it with a well-executed Bend'n'Snap...the result seems kinda attractive. We could make this work).
At work, I now quite reflexively say "Curses!" where a real swear word will go. At krav-work I use facial expression instead. It's not very versatile (it only ever says "Oh, motherfucker? Now I'm going to have to fucking fuck you up.") but it seems pretty clear.
Hugh, Hugh, Hugh. My poor tortured Hugh.
Emphasis on the "my".
My mother sometimes says, "Hot diggity!" but mostly when she's being sarcastic. I'm not why, since it always made me chuckle when she was yelling at me.
