Aimee -- that sounds like a very good plan.

incapable of peeing in the outdoors

Having previously been a suburban braindead housewife, the March didn't just teach me lessons...it bludgeoned me with them.

My very first out of doors wee came by urgent necessity in the middle of let-me-tell-ya NOwhere...which resides in the middle of the CA desert...no trees, no roads, just a string of powerlines next to a cut in the dirt...roughly 50 miles long.

Fearing urimic poisoning, I finally gave in and squatted on the sand about a 1/4 mile from my companions. No sooner had my knickers been dropped when I heard a mighty fwipping and felt a rush of wind.

Then the Marine helicopter swooped up and hovered briefly over my shining backside. I could hear chortling...they must have used the p.a.

At that moment, I felt my dignity flee...pretty much never to return.

My dignity was removed. Apparently, it's attached to the placenta.

Then the Marine helicopter swooped up and hovered briefly over my shining backside. I could hear chortling...they must have used the p.a.

If that doesn't radicalize a good citizen into sticking it to The Man, I can't think what would.

Yum. This will be the first time I've been in the sun all summer, so Im going to have to douse myself in 45. If you check out sat photos Fruday afternoon, I'm sure you can see the glare from my white ass from space.

I know that sad tale. I got a little bit of sun last couple of weekends, but the Canadians will be showing up at Smithville avec legendary "fishbelly white" skin. Years ago, out at a strip club for a friend's stag, one of our buddies had the cheeks ripped out of his boxers by the strippers (yeah, fun place) and the dj exclaimed "That ass is so white, we should be showing movies on it!" He has never lived that down.

If that doesn't radicalize a good citizen into sticking it to The Man, I can't think what would.

We were a very peaceful (by definition) event, but yeah...this incident certainly galvanized something in me. The backbone solidified markedly.

BWAH! To the Helicopter of Urinary Humilation. It sucks, but I'm just trying to imagine my own reaction.

My friend K. gave me some Lancome and Clarins self-tanner, so I am going to slap it on my legs and arms tonight, so I am not quite so fish-belly pallid.

I camped lots with my family when I was a kid and I loved it so much. We'd go to the mountains in Hendersonville where there was this huge rock with water running down it called Sliding Rock. You'd slide down and splash into water. Loved it.

As an adult, I've been a few times with friends and it was fun. It's been over ten years since I've camped and I really don't have a desire to anymore. Weird.

Nora, don't even listen to the whiners. Be happy with your beautiful new house. That's what GF and I did. We just tuned them out because we were so happy to have been able to buy the place. Then we did lots of work on it and it is a lovely place to be. Congrats to you Tom!!!

Way to deal with the spa issue, Aimee. Good plan.

That may be the best My First Outdoor Pee story ever. And I'm only saying "may" in case someone has a story involving monkeys and pirates.

My friend Fran could NOT pee. And we were primitive camping; no toilets, just the woods. H. and I tried everything -- we peed by her, we held her hands, we suggested leaning up against a tree.

Nothing. She didn't pee for about 16 hours. I felt awful for her.