ION, I had to go tell our lovely neighbor downstairs to turn down his music. It got very, very quiet after my little visit.

I think he's afraid I'll call the cops on him again. Hee!

ETA: It's like I have this card I can pull out at any time. It's the yeah-well-remember-the-time-you-were-on-my-fire-escape-at-2-am? card. It's a good one to have in the back pocket.

Mr H has a phone that will do video, but only about 15 seconds, and I never know when they're about to do something adorable. If I did, I'd have video of Max training Oz, the great animal freakout of 2005 (for amusement), and Oz coming over to snuggle Max when she was freaking out during a thunderstorm (possibly only cute if you know that they usually chase each other and fight like cats dogs and much younger dogs).

the good thing about academia is they tend to respect that their employees have lives.

Heh. I mean, yeah, but right now? Heh.

I personally want to track Sparky's friend's wife down and beat the crap out of her.

Aimee, I hope you can find some sort of compromise. Honestly, if it were me, I'd just be completely upfront with her and say that I just couldn't afford the spa-shower. It sounds like you're already dropping buckets of cash on participating in this wedding and there is nothing wrong with saying no to some of it.

I'm now furiously going through my wedding memories and trying to remember how much I put my friends through. All of my bridesmaids are still really good friends so it couldn't have been too much. I paid for half the dresses and shoes. I couldn't expect people still in college to pay over $100 for clothes. No showers for bridesmaids--just a bachelorette party than included a hotel suite and lots of drinks.

Dear Relatives:

I am sorry that the fact that we decided to purchase a house that has a bathroom on the 2nd floor (and not toilet on the 1st floor) causes you consternation and makes you feel betrayed by us. However, as it is our house, I'd appreciate it if it wasn't brought up with a rueful sigh and non-funny jokes about installing a port-o-potty in our back yard during EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CONVERSATION about our home, including conversations that we are not even present for. Please to get over it, most of you live in two story houses ANYWAY.

GOD. Who wants you whiners over to visit ANYWAY?

Signed, it's fucking hot and I hate people. Especially my family. Buncha gossips.

They'd rather walk OUTSIDE than upstairs to pee??? WTF?

You should joke right back, "Yeah, we looked at one with extra bedrooms and bathrooms so that you all could come visit whenever you liked, but then we were afraid you might."

sends Nora's relatives a chamber pot.

How well does my husband know me? He calls from upstairs, "Honey, Jon Bon Jovi is in a really bad vampire movie on tv. Thought you might want to watch it."

I had to admit I had already seen it and that it was, indeed, very bad.

Oh, I think I've seen that one! Where he's like a hunter, and other hunters are getting killed, and there's a kid I think, and priests and stuff? That one! It is truly very horrible, and yet I too have seen the whole thing.