That's kinda dismissive of him, Jen. I mean, he can have a lot invested in this relationship being a success without having the same background you have. The woman my brother just married had only had one serious relationship and he was divorced with three kids. She never had her heart really broken and he had just recently been dumped. He was a recovering alcoholic with a rocky past and she was a healthy person. I am certain however, from talking with her, that she would have been as devastated as he would have been if things hadn't worked out. For her, it was more fear of losing something she'd never had and for him it was fear that his wounded heart was going to be stomped on again, but they both were equally invested in their own ways.

Which is, ironically, I think why he lied about it.

Yeah, I can't imagine it would be easy to say, "Oh, by the way, in regards to trust issues, I've been looking you up on the Internet." The timing would be way iffy.

and he didn't, because he thought I would never find out.

Jen, this is, I think, where you need to clear things up. You're making an assumption here, and it might be misplaced. He might have only thought, "ack! I don't want her to think I'm creepy stalker guy!" and never knew or considered that you would find out.

That's kinda dismissive of him, Jen.

I wouldn't say he's less scared unless that was what he'd told me himself, honest. I can only judge by what he's said, and he's said over and over that he's never dealt with issues like these before and knows how much harder this is for me than him.

Edit: Good point, Sparky. I hadn't thought of it that way.

Jen, you could just ask him. I mean, you told him about the site. You're techno-literate, and know people google their dates. So you could just mention it, straightforwardly, to him--not as an accusation, and not with any guile. You could just say, "I was checking my referrer logs and am glad you like my site. Why didn't you tell me you'd already seen it?" You might feel more reassured, hearing it from him.

I have faith that the two of you will discuss this and it will All Be OK.

Also? I get to seeeeeeeee you on Tuesday!!!!!

Yay seeing Nora! I'm so excited.

Maybe the fact that this bothers me so much is an indication that I'm not ready to date.

No! You are DOOMED! Your tag says so.

I think I'll spend some time calming down and then bring it up in as unaccusatory and defensive way as possible.

This sounds like the right approach. He made a mistake in not telling you, but it might not be a sign of untrustworthiness, just one bad choice. It's been so great seeing you all happy about him, I hope he can be worthy of you.

Jen, nothing to add, but I think you're getting wise advice.

ION, one of the things the wedding party wants me to do for them Saturday is order pizza for delivery at noon. The wedding is at 1:00. Am I the only one who thinks chowing down on greasy pizza an hour before your wedding is a disaster waiting to happen?

I think the wedding is going to be a bit of a mess just because they're turned such a determined blind eye to the physical realities of the church. They invited 400 to a place that comfortably seats 275, and can cram in maybe 315. They wanted as many tables in the fellowship hall as possible, even though that reduces the capacity of the room to hold people comfortably, and they're planning to have dancing. I still haven't figured out how they plan on pulling that off, since when the fellowship hall is filled to capacity with tables, it by definition doesn't have a big empty space for a dance floor.

IMO their problem is they're trying for a big wedding on a small budget, which is certainly do-able, but I'm not sure they've made the wisest tradeoffs.