-t, I think that shall be my plan. Now I only have to get over the fact I will not be meeting you this weekend.

I'm not free until I have the promise of a cash flow in my future. And it doesn't help that my parents keep bugging me to move back home (and get a Ph.D., they will never shut up about the fucking Ph.D.), but I don't want to move right now, I need to stay put and get my bearings so I can find a real job, but I need money so I can afford to live.

P-C, the only thing I can tell you is that you need to do what's best for you. Once I actually did that, it made dealing with my father less unpleasant. It took him a while but he came to the conclusion that he was projecting HIS aspirations on me, and assuming they coincided with mine. Making partner in a big firm in less than 7 years was his dream; I wasn't sure I even wanted to practice law after going through 3 years of law school. We made peace, but it did take some time.

For the first 6-8 months after graduating from said law school, I worked as a bartender and waitress to support myself. Don't feel like you've got to find THE PERFECT JOB right away, because that kind of pressure (coupled with your parents' expectations) will drive you insane. Get your bearings, find a job that pays your rent, and pound the pavement. In Michigan if it makes you happy. Tell your parents, in the most respectful way possible and without sarcasm, that the only person responsible for you anymore is YOU. They've done their job and now it's time for you to do it on your own.

Jen, he might have clicked to your site when it came up in the google but not been sure that it was you. I don't know how unusual your name is to judge how likely that would be.

Temping is good for cash-flow while you look for something "realer", P-C. I know there are lab work temp agencies, my dad's lab used one. Unfortunately, he's off driving Lewis and Clark's route with my mom until middle of next month, so I can't ask him for the name of it for you. But you can probably find one.

I'm looking into that.

Yeah, it really doesn't help when apparently your parents and like everyone in Dallas ever wants to know why you won't just move back home and stay there forever and ever and fucking ever. I don't need this shit. I really don't. I missed my April breakdown, so I guess May is making up for it.

And Jen, that's...I don't know. It feels sketchy, but I think you should confront him about it before making conclusions. Because, uh, it sounds like something I might do.

P-C, you might want to seriously consider coming to San Francisco. Granted, the job market has been pretty flat for a while, but I just did a check on www.bajobs.com and found a goodly chunk of biotech/pharmaceutical positions.

I've thought about that for the long-term. But I don't want to make a decision that big in the next few weeks is what I'm saying. I want time to get everything straightened out and make sure I'm making the right decision. And I want to do that here, where i have a support system.

I need people to hold me while I cry. Come over, now.

Jen, ooof.

Here's my take on it - he didn't want to come off as creepy!stalker!type, and he didn't know how the revelation that he'd already read all of your poetry site would come off - he may have thought that that would have felt like a breach of trust.

Honestly? I think it was an innocent mistake of his. Not that it should be glossed over - if you're having such a strong reaction to it, you definitely need to discuss it with him - but I think it was an honest error.

Hugs, sweetie.

Jen, he might have been afraid to admit that he Googled for you for fear it would seem too stalker-y.

X-post ('cept Juliana said it way more clearly and completely).

I feel like this is really bad. I could use some perspective.

My guess? I think he googled you and then felt like that was some kind of invasion of privacy after he read your site. You don't think so, but that might have been his feeling. So his lying about it was just a little ass-coverage so he wouldn't seem like Crazy Stalking Man.

Little did he realize that you would sleuth him out.

For instance, when I was young and dumb and in high school I had a big crush on a girl and I rode by her house on my bicycle at night. If she had asked me about doing that at school, I certainly would have denied it. I wouldn't want to be caught being so moon-calf in lurve.

Anyway, I don't think it's that horrible. I think his motives were that he's totally into you but is afraid of scaring you off with his strong interest.

-t, I think that shall be my plan. Now I only have to get over the fact I will not be meeting you this weekend.

WAH! Someday, Maria, someday.

If it's any consolation, I'm gonna be pretty scarce at the F2F as packing is totally kicking my ass. I was bemoaning to myself how unfair it is that there are all these foamy Buffistas in town and I can't hang out with them nearly as much as I want to. Then I gave myself a good shake and reminded myself that if the F2F was anywhere else I wouldn't be able to go at all and I'd better damn well enjoy the Prom and whatever else I manage to actually attend. Stiff upper lip meet silver lining sort of thing.

Heh. Not-A-Stalker xpost.

Jen, what juliana said. I was typing what amounted to be the same advice, but Ctrl+A and delete saved me from an edit. Besides, being of the same mind as the lovely Ms. j isn't bad at all.

I know how you're feeling. Much punctuation to you.

Jen, he might have been afraid to admit that he Googled for you for fear it would seem too stalker-y.

Yes. This. I probably would have done something similar. Certainly you should mention it, because it upsets you, but it doesn't sound like he was trying to decieve you or anything. Sometimes you neglect to say the pertinent thing in time, and then you just kind of try to save face. Expecially with this type of situation, when it seems pretty harmless to follow through. I doubt it's indicative of untrustworthiness.

It really, really seems like something I might do, and then after the fact, when a bit more sure of my footing in the relationship, go back and "confess" my total dorkiness.