Jen, he might have clicked to your site when it came up in the google but not been sure that it was you. I don't know how unusual your name is to judge how likely that would be.

Temping is good for cash-flow while you look for something "realer", P-C. I know there are lab work temp agencies, my dad's lab used one. Unfortunately, he's off driving Lewis and Clark's route with my mom until middle of next month, so I can't ask him for the name of it for you. But you can probably find one.

I'm looking into that.

Yeah, it really doesn't help when apparently your parents and like everyone in Dallas ever wants to know why you won't just move back home and stay there forever and ever and fucking ever. I don't need this shit. I really don't. I missed my April breakdown, so I guess May is making up for it.

And Jen, that's...I don't know. It feels sketchy, but I think you should confront him about it before making conclusions. Because, uh, it sounds like something I might do.

P-C, you might want to seriously consider coming to San Francisco. Granted, the job market has been pretty flat for a while, but I just did a check on www.bajobs.com and found a goodly chunk of biotech/pharmaceutical positions.

I've thought about that for the long-term. But I don't want to make a decision that big in the next few weeks is what I'm saying. I want time to get everything straightened out and make sure I'm making the right decision. And I want to do that here, where i have a support system.

I need people to hold me while I cry. Come over, now.

Jen, ooof.

Here's my take on it - he didn't want to come off as creepy!stalker!type, and he didn't know how the revelation that he'd already read all of your poetry site would come off - he may have thought that that would have felt like a breach of trust.

Honestly? I think it was an innocent mistake of his. Not that it should be glossed over - if you're having such a strong reaction to it, you definitely need to discuss it with him - but I think it was an honest error.

Hugs, sweetie.

Jen, he might have been afraid to admit that he Googled for you for fear it would seem too stalker-y.

X-post ('cept Juliana said it way more clearly and completely).

I feel like this is really bad. I could use some perspective.

My guess? I think he googled you and then felt like that was some kind of invasion of privacy after he read your site. You don't think so, but that might have been his feeling. So his lying about it was just a little ass-coverage so he wouldn't seem like Crazy Stalking Man.

Little did he realize that you would sleuth him out.

For instance, when I was young and dumb and in high school I had a big crush on a girl and I rode by her house on my bicycle at night. If she had asked me about doing that at school, I certainly would have denied it. I wouldn't want to be caught being so moon-calf in lurve.

Anyway, I don't think it's that horrible. I think his motives were that he's totally into you but is afraid of scaring you off with his strong interest.

-t, I think that shall be my plan. Now I only have to get over the fact I will not be meeting you this weekend.

WAH! Someday, Maria, someday.

If it's any consolation, I'm gonna be pretty scarce at the F2F as packing is totally kicking my ass. I was bemoaning to myself how unfair it is that there are all these foamy Buffistas in town and I can't hang out with them nearly as much as I want to. Then I gave myself a good shake and reminded myself that if the F2F was anywhere else I wouldn't be able to go at all and I'd better damn well enjoy the Prom and whatever else I manage to actually attend. Stiff upper lip meet silver lining sort of thing.

Heh. Not-A-Stalker xpost.

Jen, what juliana said. I was typing what amounted to be the same advice, but Ctrl+A and delete saved me from an edit. Besides, being of the same mind as the lovely Ms. j isn't bad at all.

I know how you're feeling. Much punctuation to you.

Jen, he might have been afraid to admit that he Googled for you for fear it would seem too stalker-y.

Yes. This. I probably would have done something similar. Certainly you should mention it, because it upsets you, but it doesn't sound like he was trying to decieve you or anything. Sometimes you neglect to say the pertinent thing in time, and then you just kind of try to save face. Expecially with this type of situation, when it seems pretty harmless to follow through. I doubt it's indicative of untrustworthiness.

It really, really seems like something I might do, and then after the fact, when a bit more sure of my footing in the relationship, go back and "confess" my total dorkiness.

he may have thought that that would have felt like a breach of trust.

Yes, this. I Googled my current BF before our first date (we met online, I was doing due diligence for my own safety frankly). I found out about some legal wrangling he had a few years ago (nothing major. at all.). I've never mentioned it and he's never told me about it. That's okay because what I found out isn't germaine to our relationship.

That being said, if he ever does tell me, I'm going to feign ignorance because of that breach of trust thing.