I've seen Ameripick, and it's usually about writers who put "whilst" into the characters' mouths.
I think it's legit, but possibly jarring if it's not speech--how deep are you into one of their points of view? But why do it? Unless your audience is also British, it's unlikely to be transparent, and I'd think you want your words to be transparent when the alternative is :"think of a country they only visited once overnight".
I had to bow out of a recommended Avengers fic because Black Widow (or maybe Hawkeye) kept calling everyone "ducky," In
every
sentence. There was something else they kept using, but it was the ducky that finally broke me.
Unless their version of Black Widow was played by Dame Maggie Smith instead of Scarlett Johansson, that's a pretty awful mistake to make.
I ran into a jarring Canadianism the other day where someone was complaining that their Hydro was too high.
Amy, you didn't mention that there was a
secret glimmer
in the
limpid blue pools
...at least I hope there was, and this isn't an additional abuse of such.
Which reminds me--I think I asked in SPN and not here. What is the term for when parts of the body are given agency in description? Is that a thing that has a name? Like in this (porn-riddled) passage (of porn):
Dean stood at the dressing table, his fingers digging into the edge to support himself as Castiel thrust into him from behind, slow and even.
Castiel’s body was pressed up against Dean, his chest against the hunter’s back, his hips slotting against the man’s buttocks when he slid all the way in. He wound an arm around Dean’s waist, resting his hand against his upper abdomen, his other hand intertwining with one of Dean's on the dressing table.
“Cas,” Dean shuddered, feeling a pair of lips mouthing at the back of his neck as the angel moved within him. He shifted backwards to meet each of Castiel’s forward thrusts, their bodies moving firmly, but in a languid pace; they were in no rush.
Castiel’s hot breath cascaded over Dean’s neck as he continued placing open-mouthed kisses, occasionally allowing his tongue to snake out and taste the hunter’s smooth flesh, salty with a fine sheen of sweat.
Dean reached an arm behind him, his fingers finding their way into Castiel’s hair. Their hooded eyes met over Dean’s shoulder before the angel leaned forward and sealed their lips together, the fingers in his dark hair tightening in approval.
I don't know about your actual question, but Dean's going to have some jesus splinters on his fingers.
I have a note from my doctor with regards to limited range of motion turning my head, but it definitely seems like gay (imaginary) guys manage to kiss face to face full on the lips a lot while actually fucking back to front. It's a miracle, it is. If they can do that, clearly god is in favour of gayness.
Well, the kissing part isn't that difficult unless the top's significantly shorter than the bottom, but it's more like your faces are side-to-side and turned toward each other rather than directly opposite.
Unless Reed Richards or Plastic Man is one of the parties involved, anyway.
I'm not dating you can't kiss from that position, just that descriptions often seem to make it sound, well, opposite.
I have to mentally insert that there is torso-twisting and leaning to the side involved to make it work.
There's a lot of mental gymnastics involved in too many scenes to make them work. Sometimes the physical descriptions are so vague as to make me unsure what position they were in to start with, and where they are at any given point. Are they still standing? Oh, they're not? When did that happen?