I swear, they're always pressed back-to-front, and nose-to-nose, and I'm thinking "Where is your penis poking him at this time?"

My inappropriate response is that they have Spike's penis, with the ability and footage to navigate pants that are still up.

ita, are you thinking of personification? Above, I don't really see it -- they're just using descriptive verbs. I'd write that fingers were digging into something, for instance.

What is the term for when parts of the body are given agency in description?

Possibly this is related to epithets? Many years ago this was called The Zombie Hand of Rob Lowe.

ETA: I meant to say the zombie hand phenomenon is similar, but probably not exactly what you're describing.

The challenge with writing smut, I find, is that since it isn't actually happening to me, it gets dreadfully boring analyzing each and every minute movement to describe it. I get sick to death of it long before it gets really good for the participants. Somewhere between "she bent her elbow and rotated her wrist to allow her fingers to curve around..." and "Are they still standing? Oh, they're not? When did that happen?" is a happy medium. I put some thought and effort into finding it, but considering how easy it isn't, I feel for the writers who don't manage to get there. One suspects that their tutelage in smut writing came from the cheapest of the cheap paperback bodice-rippers. Still, there are few things that take me as a reader out of a moment like thinking "oh come on, not even porn stars bend like that".

It might be that, shrift. That story was just the one I was reading at the time, as opposed to one that stuck out as an egregious example. But really often I feel it's awkward when noses nuzzle or whatever--when it feels like a verb the person should have attributed to them, not a body part.

I dunno, things like "standing or sitting?" or "front to front or front to back?" seem like pretty simple and basic logistics to me. The finer nuances of how an arm got where or which joint was bent which way I can work out if those basics are met or at least imagine something adequate to flesh out the general parameters. But if I suddenly sit back halfway through a scene, finally realizing that they'd been on their knees the whole while, front to back, when I thought I'd been a standing scene front to front, it jerks me out and then I'm just confused about what I'm reading. Same goes for fight scenes, actually, which I think must be even more difficult to write, given the speed and constant physical changing of position. Then again, the speed, and the need to convey that, gives more leeway for skipping over a lot of maneuvering.

Can I just suggest the porn writers do a quick search for "stok" before they post their story just in case John is stoking any part of Sherlock, or Bella is being stoked by Edward, or whatever.

For reasons I can't put my finger on, it jars me more than many spelling errors.

just in case John is stoking any part of Sherlock

That sounds like a really appalling metaphor. "Stoke me, Sherlock! Stoke me like the furnace that burns the biohazardous materials at Barts!"

One of my favorite Mentalist fic writers has tired of all of us bemoaning the dearth of comments and reviews on our stories, and has started "Operation: Reviews". The idea is, to take a pledge to leave a comment on every fic one reads, even if it is a very short, simple "good work!"

I intend to apply my pledge only to stories I read all the way through. If something is so bad I Giveup on it, I won't bother. It's not like "your grammar, punctuation, and ability to write in character all suck" would actually help.

ETA: I guess that also undoes my resentful, envy-laden refusal to leave comments on stories that get tons more reviews than my own. Piffle. Now I have to act all grown up.