Go, Nora! I just bought another can of oats, because I'm going to work out how to make the stupid porridge.

I'm little miss judgey and unforgivey -- I would not make for happy fuzzy soundbites if a relative of mine pulled that sort of gag. For a start, I have incredible contempt for high-maintenance lies.

I'd be furious. It's so thoughtless. You want to cancel the wedding? Fine, face the consequences. And if you DO run away like a big huge baby, call your family as soon as you see they are frantic with worry.

I'd be torn between "How could you be so STUPID???" and "How could you be so INCONSIDERATE??"

I do tend to get caught up in the stupidity of the unsustainable deception quite a bit. Toss that in with hurting people? "We look forward to loving her" my ass.

I think it's perfectly fine to cut off family members. My mother and I argued about this (I begged her to turn me in without guilt if I ever went on a murderous rampage, for instance) ... until she finally cut one off, and now she's worse than I am on that front.

I do tend to get caught up in the stupidity of the unsustainable deception quite a bit. Toss that in with hurting people? "We look forward to loving her" my ass.

Easy to say till it actually happens to you. I mean, maybe you would still react that way. I guess it really depends on the circumstances. And, I really think that no matter how much coverage there is on this situation, there is more going on than we could possibly know about. And really, maybe this situation is way to close for me to be able to talk about it reasonably.

Actually, the fact that a 32 yr old woman runs away makes me wonder about her circumstances. Only because I knew a woman in her late 20's that was still living at home. If her father knew she was reading romance novels from the library - she would have been severly beaten. Anyway, I could see her getting in a situation where running away seemed like the best idea.

If you need "some time alone," would it kill you to call someone first? Send an email, if you can't deal with talking. I mean, something. Honestly.

I hope all involved can get effective counseling -- most especially the bride. You must be under tremendous stress to do something like that.

If I were the groom, I'd certainly want to put off the wedding at this point, if not cancel it altogether.

( Fourteen!!!1!???/? bridesmaids?)

Easy to say till it actually happens to you

This mightn't have happened to me, but it's not like I haven't cut family off before. It's not something I look forward to, but moving my boundaries out further and further with family who've messed inconsiderately with me -- well, I have a large and difficult family. I'd be drained, wrung dry, and living a very different life if I hadn't.

I have no regrets.

It's not something I look forward to, but moving my boundaries out further and further with family who've messed inconsiderately with me -- well, I have a large and difficult family. I'd be drained, wrung dry, and living a very different life if I hadn't.

Very, very true. I'm sorry...I probably didn't say that very well. I don't think you should push those boundaries out. They're very important. And even more importantly, you must take care of yourself.

No regrets are good.

vw, I understand that most folks don't do something ike this without powerful cause and that they think they are doing what they have to do, but the thing is, it DOES hurt the people left behind--as you know. It causes everyone who cares about them fear and sorrow and anxiety. They go to seek their own peace, while robbing all who are close to them of theirs. One can understand the behavior, one can forgive it, but it doesn't change the fact that it's deepy hurtful.