The maps have been by at least half a block on my test addresses. My parents' address is not in there at all.

Looking at my parents' address on the map made me realize my mental map was completely south-north. Oops.

Mile-high club meara (so to speak)

And god forbid you get some sort of freaky pilot that's all, "No, we're not landing til she gets there."

I dunno, could be a service she pays extra for.

Consistently? You can't just jump? A lot?

Though I think sex on a trampoline comes with its own cachet, if not its own snappy nickname.

Damn, Jess beat me to it!

The comforters are the scary part.

Uh oh. Just how often do they get cleaned, generally?

So, so didn't need to think about that.

I'm not having sex in a hotel right now!!!

AIFG? Or would that be AINot-FG?

Heh. You know you're a parent when "changed a diaper on this bed" doesn't bother you but "somebody had sex on this bedspread" does. Even though you know which one is more likely to be infectious.

I've never been one to have much fear of sperm in any case, what with a day's drying time removing any active threat from same. But the ickiness of poop has a long shelf life if bronzing isn't involved.

Once you have two people in one of those airplane bathrooms, the two of you are definitely have sex, whether you wanted and intended to or not.

Well, that could be your excuse if you get caught. Accidental sex? Inadvertant sex? Could happen to anyone (or two as the case may be).

I guess I feel the same way about hotel bedspreads as I do about public toilets: they probably aren't terribly clean, but nobody's ever gotten sick just by sitting on one. (And if you were the one person who did, please don't tell me, 'kay?)

I feel that way about public toidy's myself. It's the back of your leg on the thing for pitty's sake, you don't rub your goolie on it. The only truly gross thing about them is those fecking women who SQUAT and SPRINLKE and then LEAVE IT THERE.

It's absolutely evil. Instead of 'Men' and 'Women' they should divide bathrooms by 'Squatters' and 'Sitters.'

I couldn't even have onanism in a plane bathroom...probably couldn't use it. Period.

You know you're a new parent when you're involved in the former way more often than the latter.

Hee!

does the dance of there's been no diapers in this house for well over a year

I couldn't even have onanism in a plane bathroom...probably couldn't use it. Period.

OK, that sucks even for non-sexual reasons... but you could TOTALLY work the whole boyfriend as "attendant" angle and he has to pull you onto his lap to "help" you with "something" right there in the seats and if anyone says anything he gives a very serious look and says, "Would you please stop staring? She's having a seizure."

The only truly gross thing about them is those fecking women who SQUAT and SPRINLKE and then LEAVE IT THERE.

Once again I must advocate for squat toilets. Seriously--given the choice between sitting on a public toilet seat and squatting over a hole in the floor, I'd take the latter any day.