Theresa: This bitch was all up in my face, like, "I'm a coluratura, listen to my melisma, la la la," and I was all like "No you ain't, you can't hit over a high D flat without squeaking. That's a bullshit tessitura, and your melisma sounds like freakin' Nelly Furtado on a bad day," and she was like, "You're goin' down, mezzo tramp!" and I was like "Bring it on, bitch!"

I think that's just such a wonderful picture of you, Allyson.

And laughing about your no-cat-proclaiming BRQG.

ita: I have a cousin who teaches Christian aerobics.

billytea: "Ok, now with the music: stand up straight! And straight! And straight! And arms out wide! Out wide! Out wide! And hold it! Hold it! Hold it!"

Yay! Thanks, shrift!

JUST EAT A FRELLING MUFFIN, WHITEY!

This may just possibly be the funniest and most useful thing ever said.

My Farscape Season 2 DVDs did not arrive. Now "frelling" shows up to mock my misery.

Crap. I just remembered I'm supposed to be studying.

I love this one:

PMM: Damn it! HANDS OFF MY BIG GAY PIRATE!!! WE HAVE BUCKLES TO SWASH!

Sue: In Johnny's case that would be buckles to swish.

And a classic Fay:

FayJay: Tyr - he's the jaw-droppingly beautiful man - I mean, head turning, rugby-tackle-him-reflexively- upon-first-sight-and-start-humping-his- unsuspecting-self-like-a-bitch-in-heat- before-you've-realised-that-you're-in-the- middle-of-a-cocktail-party-and-nobody-has- even-introduced-you-to-him-yet level of Beautiful? Yeah? (Although I suppose in those circumstances one could always beg cultural differences, and claim that in the UK it's called a CockTail party for a reason, and whoops, you mean this isn't an orgy, how dreadfully embarrassing, ho ho ho, could somebody possibly pass me an h'ors deuvre? And oh, look over there, a juggling elephant! - at which point you drag the man into the nearest possible closet with muttered offers of no-strings blowjobbage and get him naked as fast as humanly possible). 'Cause I don't watch Andromeda, but I happened across it this pm whilst frantically vaccuming the cat to avoid essay writing, and sweet weeping mother of God, he could make me give up girls entirely.

I don't understand how they ever get anything done on that ship, actually, because surely everyone's first thought upon waking must be: "Hmm, consciousness. Must go get Tyr naked and have hot monkey sex." Or possibly: "Hmm. consciousness. must go get Tyr naked and have hot monkey sex, and then punch the captain for being an irritating git." But apparently other stuff happens too?

Decisions, decisions...

Dana: Mmm. Doughnuts. I could totally go for a doughnut. Or the still-beating heart of my idiot coworker.

It's weird how often I can make you laugh at my pain. Sadly, my streak still holds.