Oooh, yeah! Thanks for the reminder, Heather!

I should go sell every little thing I own in the world to make absolutely certain the $50,000 is already in the account for them to withdraw, thus preventing any possible hiccups in the soon to come great fountain of money pouring over my head.

That was snail mail, Sean?

Yes! It came via actual mail!

That's how I know it's legit.

I wonder how quickly I can fax back my complete personal information, including all pertinent bank account information to their office in Madrid (at international calling rates), so that they may wire the pleasingly large sum of money directly into my account.

If I guess right, will you share it with me?

I just had a very cool thing happen -- I run a small forum that lets my extended family plan the use of our shared Canada properties online. A couple of weeks ago, we got a really weird request to join from a Yahoo account in Germany. We just got this email:

I was surfing surching for my "roots" and so I found this site. I bet we are relatives because [name] is not a common family name. I am 16 years old and I live in Germany, in Wuppertal near Cologne.

Our family is originaly from Nieheim (Westphalia). My greatgrandfather [name] and his family fled before the Holocaust to the Dominican Republic. My grandmother ([name]) still lives there. My dad ([name])left the D.R. 26 years ago to study in Germany. That is how the [name] name came home again. :)

My dad is aware of other [name]s in the USA, such as the Cincinnatti "branch" and the San Francisco "branch". If I'am allowed to ask you a question: Is your family still jewish? And if yes, how is the life in Canada or America (I don't know where you live) as a jewish family? I'm realy interested whether we are relatives and how we are related too!

The Cincinnati branch is my mom's family, and the San Fransisco "branch" is my uncle. Apparently there are also some in Toronto. Neat!

Wow, Sean. You sure are both lucky and special.

Jessica, that is really cool.

That's cool, Jessica. I run across people with my name every once in a while. Apparently there's a Jen in Michigan.

And whenever I walk by kids playing a game (most recently, snowball fights) that looks as though it could possibly hit me, I give them the grownup glare as I approach, and growl "careful" as I pass. Meaning, careful you don't hit me, because I will kill you.

We got one of those in the actual mail at work one day, which seems pretty dumb, since going through the PO makes it a huge crime- I mean huger than a spam scam.

The Cincinnati branch is my mom's family, and the San Fransisco "branch" is my uncle. Apparently there are also some in Toronto. Neat!

Jess, that's pretty cool! My dad was in email contact for a while with a professor K back in Hungary (where the K side of my family comes from).

Oh, also, for non-East Coast people: There's a fun show about a medical examiner on TLC tonight. FYI. If you think that kind of thing is fun.

Edit: OK, the current piece, combined with the Nip/Tuck I saw last night compells me to beg you all: If you can't afford an actual doctor in an actual medical facility, don't have plastic surgery.

If you can't afford an actual doctor in an actual medical facility, don't have plastic surgery.

::cancels appointment at "Bob's Liposuction Hut"