Right. Sir. Honey.

Zoe ,'The Train Job'


The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Strix - Dec 16, 2007 6:40:09 pm PST #9596 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

I shall rise
I shall rise
Clean the night from my eyes
Scatter nightmares to the skies


I shall rise
I shall rise
Firm resolution to be wise
No more faltering into lies


I shall
rise

I shall
rise

Reject that which
Nullifies

I shall. . .
I shall. . .

Rise.

Seek that which purifies

(o silence amplifies my guise)

I shall rise I shall rise!
Break
these ties

I will. . .

I. . .

Will. . .

will dies


Liese S. - Dec 16, 2007 6:41:15 pm PST #9597 of 10001
"Faded like the lilac, he thought."

Wow.


Strix - Dec 16, 2007 6:45:30 pm PST #9598 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

thanks. Any tips, crits, etc. I wrote it last night, so it's rough


Laura - Dec 16, 2007 6:46:18 pm PST #9599 of 10001
Our wings are not tired.

Oh, did I choose a good time to subscribe.

Very nice, Erin. Wow.


Amy - Dec 16, 2007 6:48:58 pm PST #9600 of 10001
Because books.

Erin! Dude, that's awesome!

These are my favorite lines:

Clean the night from my eyes
Scatter nightmares to the skies

Go, Erin, with the inspired poetry!


Strix - Dec 16, 2007 6:49:05 pm PST #9601 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

thanks. It's one thing insomnia is good for.


Laura - Dec 16, 2007 6:52:00 pm PST #9602 of 10001
Our wings are not tired.

Any tips, crits, etc.

So, to consider this request I read a couple more times. (didn't suffer)

and the only thing I would suggest is where you have

I shall rise I shall rise!
Break
these ties

I would say maybe

I shall rise I shall rise!
Break break
these ties

(so new here I hesitate massively to interject thoughts)


erikaj - Dec 16, 2007 7:57:28 pm PST #9603 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Feeling very weird about some praise I just got for writing that I'm totally confused, lonely, and my life sucks.(I used prettier words than that, but still. I was on a deadline and therefore exploited my personal issues and now someone thinks I'm emotionally complicated instead of too lazy to make shit up) It feels both terrible and FG.


Susan W. - Dec 16, 2007 8:04:59 pm PST #9604 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

That's a wonderful piece, Erin!


Karl - Dec 16, 2007 8:13:29 pm PST #9605 of 10001
I adore all you motherfuckers so much -- PMM.

Agreed that praise for the quality of your expression of lack of fulfillment is a bit odd.

But then there were 20th-century novelists (Roth comes to mind, but there are numerous others) who made a career of it. So ... depends on which way you look at it, I s'pose.