I shall rise
I shall rise
Clean the night from my eyes
Scatter nightmares to the skies
I shall rise
I shall rise
Firm resolution to be wise
No more faltering into lies
I shall
rise
I shall
rise
Reject that which
Nullifies
I shall. . .
I shall. . .
Rise.
Seek that which purifies
(o silence amplifies
my guise)
I shall rise I shall rise!
Break
these ties
I will. . .
I. . .
Will. . .
will dies
thanks. Any tips, crits, etc. I wrote it last night, so it's rough
Oh, did I choose a good time to subscribe.
Very nice, Erin. Wow.
Erin! Dude, that's awesome!
These are my favorite lines:
Clean the night from my eyes
Scatter nightmares to the skies
Go, Erin, with the inspired poetry!
thanks. It's one thing insomnia is good for.
Any tips, crits, etc.
So, to consider this request I read a couple more times. (didn't suffer)
and the only thing I would suggest is where you have
I shall rise I shall rise!
Break
these ties
I would say maybe
I shall rise I shall rise!
Break break
these ties
(so new here I hesitate massively to interject thoughts)
Feeling very weird about some praise I just got for writing that I'm totally confused, lonely, and my life sucks.(I used prettier words than that, but still. I was on a deadline and therefore exploited my personal issues and now someone thinks I'm emotionally complicated instead of too lazy to make shit up)
It feels both terrible and FG.
That's a wonderful piece, Erin!
Agreed that praise for the quality of your expression of lack of fulfillment is a bit odd.
But then there were 20th-century novelists (Roth comes to mind, but there are numerous others) who made a career of it. So ... depends on which way you look at it, I s'pose.