Any tips, crits, etc.

So, to consider this request I read a couple more times. (didn't suffer)

and the only thing I would suggest is where you have

I shall rise I shall rise!
Break
these ties

I would say maybe

I shall rise I shall rise!
Break break
these ties

(so new here I hesitate massively to interject thoughts)

Feeling very weird about some praise I just got for writing that I'm totally confused, lonely, and my life sucks.(I used prettier words than that, but still. I was on a deadline and therefore exploited my personal issues and now someone thinks I'm emotionally complicated instead of too lazy to make shit up) It feels both terrible and FG.

That's a wonderful piece, Erin!

Agreed that praise for the quality of your expression of lack of fulfillment is a bit odd.

But then there were 20th-century novelists (Roth comes to mind, but there are numerous others) who made a career of it. So ... depends on which way you look at it, I s'pose.

They are your personal issues to exploit! Next time exploit someone's else issues and see if the praise feels different. Seriously, enjoy the praise without reservation. Yay!

Erin, that's gorgeous!

Man, my insomnia never pays off that well. I gotta talk to my insomnia dealer...

Fantastic work, woman. Good onya.

Well, whenever I *intend* to "blow the lid off" something, it sinks like a rock. But I wasn't trying, to, say, paint a portrait of somebody who doesn't know where she's going so it feels uncomfortable taking the compliment for something I banged out in twenty minutes.

Everyone feels lack of fulfillment. It's a universal theme that can resonate with anyone.

I don't think anything really gets banged out in 20 minutes. It was about stuff you've thought about a lot and the thinking is more important than the typing.

What Ginger said. Take the praised as earned, Erika.

Sigh.

Tonight I made the mistake of asking my IRL critique group how my WIP compares to what I've written before--was it better, worse, or about the same.

They kind of looked at each other and said that they'd liked the romances better. Which surprised me, because I have so much more enthusiasm for what I'm writing now and feel more at home with my voice, and I was sure that was coming through on the page.

With one, I just don't think she's my natural reader for the new project. She liked my more domestic romance, the one with a house party and balls and pretty dresses, better than my starcrossed lovers in the Peninsular War, and she says with this story she's too busy trying to keep track of which parts are real and which ones I've invented. (She doesn't know enough history to do what I was hoping readers would do--recognize the two really famous real names among my cast but realize that the events are askew from page one.)

One of them said that she could tell I was having a grand time with the intellectual puzzle I've set myself of rewriting a big chunk of history, but that the emotional connection with the characters isn't there yet, and that's what she's loved about my writing in the past. She said that even with the romances, the emotional layer was generally the last thing to fall into place as I polished the work, so she's confident I'll figure out how to get it onto the page by the time it's ready to submit.

But...but...it still wasn't the answer I was expecting. I've felt so much more free that I was sure that exuberance was coming through on the page and strengthening the writing.

Sigh