In the Garden
(100 words without the title)
Fenced in on a base of bare dirt: orange rinds, coffee grounds, apple cores, and eggshells. Remember, oh food, you are dirt and to dirt you shall return. Carefully collected detritus does what comes naturally. It rots.
It’s a perfect landscape. Chiaroscuro, color, even scent artfully composed for my enjoyment. Someone thought about how to arrange this garden before they left. It had not been tended for a while before I found it, but no harm came from the neglect.
I don’t water. I don’t weed. I don’t deadhead the roses.
I will feed it good dirt.
In The Garden
I always thought I'd meet Jesus in a garden. Not the Garden of Eden; nothing so specific. Just me and Christ, chilling amongst the roses. I think it stems from going to church with my grandma when I was a little girl. I don't know the title of it, but my favorite hymn's chorus went: And he walked with me/And he talked with me/And he tells me I am his own/And the love we shared/As we tarried there/None ever/Has ever/Known." Grandma would slip my sister and I peppermints, and we would draw on the programs.
I don't think of Jesus much nowadays; I never go to church and Grandma is dead. But whenever I unwrap a round red-and-white mint, I smell my grandmother's Youth Dew, hear that hymn, and walk around in the garden.
-t I will probably think of compost heaps as gardens from now on
Erin I like it, but wonder about re-arranging the order - starting with the scent and ending with Jesus.
D'you mean 2nd para first?
Hmm - would it be OK if I post my version. Still your words (only one or two actually changed) but drastically different order?
Erin's "In the Garden" Re-arranged
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In The Garden
I don't think of Jesus much nowadays; I never go to church and Grandma is dead. But whenever I unwrap a round red-and-white mint, I smell my grandmother's Youth Dew, hear that hymn, and walk around in the garden.
When I was a little girl, Church meant Grandma slipping my sister and me peppermints while we drew in the program. My favorite hymn's chorus went: "And he walked with me/And he talked with me/And he tells me I am his own/And the love we shared/As we tarried there/None ever/Has ever/Known."
To me, that meant I’d meet Jesus in a garden. Not the Garden of Eden; nothing so specific. Just me and Christ, chilling amongst the roses.
t Edited to include Deborah's correction.
You know, I agree with you. I do like your organization better. More punch.
Excellent feedback.
Church meant Grandma slipping my sister and I peppermints
Erin, and you an English teacher, girlfriend.
"slipping my sister and I peppermints"?
take out the "my sister and" and what do you get? "Church meant Grandma slipping I peppermints."
My sister and me, please.
Well editing someone else's work is so much friggin easier than editing your own.
