Go, ita. Go, ita. Write it down, bring it round. Go, ita.

Plei and Cindy, I don't know if I made it through your spam filters, but I sent the thing.

I have at least one more. I think.

You're on fire today, lady. Very cool.

Me for bed.

I took liberties with the PoV character not matching the suggestion, because I didn't want it to sound like it was about me.

****

You know you don't know, and it bothers you. Leukemia perhaps, but how does one ask about that? She's always pleasant, so pleasant you don't realize you've shared more than she has by the time you part.

If you can't talk to her about cancer, how can you bring up a man with more temper than self-control? Maybe talk about clumsiness, a coltish physicality in a woman's body. Or martial arts, joke about the other guys, and how badly off they must be.

But just in case, you don't. And you never let her see you stare at her bruises.

Allyson, got it. Read right before my bus ride, mused, went and had Chinese food with my parents, mused some more, and will back fling shortly.

Thank you, Plei. Your feedback, and deb's feedback, helped me come to the conclusion that I'm writing to how I think it could be received, instead of just writing what I want to say.

If that makes sense. I didn't realize that was what was sticking. Does that happen to any of you?

Yeah, that makes sense.

And yes, back when I was still writing show analysis, I'd find myself stuck on that, because fandom is extra-flamey.

Does that happen to any of you?

Constantly. Partly for professional reasons, and partly because I'm conflict-avoidant to the extreme. I load everything down with qualifiers and then act all surprised when nobody challenges me. ::rolls eyes::

Yep, to what 'suela and Plei said. It does make sense - and on this one, the sense that you might be avoiding connecting the dots and asking yourself a few things about your own reactions to the readers' reactions is extra-likely. I really want to see what you do with it.

ita, dayum. I'm just going to sit back and watch your head explode on this one. The spatter patterns are glorious.

Thank you, Plei. Your feedback, and deb's feedback, helped me come to the conclusion that I'm writing to how I think it could be received, instead of just writing what I want to say.

If that makes sense. I didn't realize that was what was sticking. Does that happen to any of you?

Yep and yep.

Rec'd Allyson. I was out last night. I started feedback when I got in, but was tired and sick. I just finished and sent it back to you.

eta...

Maybe it would help to write the piece as if it were bound for the shit-you-didn't-say file. Let it all hang out in the first pass.