Yes, I think they're good points. I do think maybe my snark comes off as anger, but I can't do much to change my tone. I think I've done a mostly good job of describing things with love and respect, but obviously that hasn't come across as clearly as I thought.

I thought my title essay was an excellent defense of fandom, and how much love I have for them.

I didn't send it out for beta, and maybe I should.

I didn't send it out for beta, and maybe I should

If you ever decide need a fresh pair of eyes, my profile addy's good. I'd be glad to look.

blink

Allyson, that's a superb letter. Dayum.

She likes the idea, she thinks the market is going to grow, she offers both general and specific suggestions for what's needed to make it work.

I mean yes, "I adore this and have nine editors who will have a bidding war over it" is always preferable, but if there was nothing there? You would have got a formulaic "Thank you for submitting, we do not feel we are a good match at this time" letter.

And there's that universal theme thing, again. Yep.

Allyson, that's a great, very personal letter to get, rejection or no. Having sent off lots and lots of the often-Xeroxed form letters (just like the ones Deb mentioned), getting a letter with that much detail and thought means she was impressed.

Just keep going. First time is very rarely a charm.

Yeah, that letter is really nice. I think if I got that rejection letter, I'd feel... well, a lot happier than I could've, anyway.

I'm confident that the writing itself must be good, or else I'd have received the form letter I'm sure.

I'm unsure how to change the tone, or if I even want to, as I like my tone a lot. I was sure that there were as many love letters to fandom as not, and I think I need to find someone who has no experience within fandom to take a read.

I just don't know anyone outside of fandom.

And I'm not sure what my universal theme is, other than fandom is not unlike any other family, and I both love them and want to strangle them.

fandom is not unlike any other family, and I both love them and want to strangle them

That's your theme. On the reread of that letter, I'd say you need an essay or three that joins the others as part of that particular theme.

Family family family. Also, a bit of emphasis on the fact that you not only get furious with them, you also love them, would probably do a huge balancing act on what she perceived as the anger of the tone.

edit: offering blanket apologies for bad typing today. The multiple sclerosis is doing some spooky stuff to my eyes today and things are very blurry, with or without glasses.

Also, a bit of emphasis on the fact that you not only get furious with them, you also love them, would probably do a huge balancing act on what she perceived as the anger of the tone.

I thought the story of Kat n' Lori's wedding, ita's story, and Tim's story went far to balance.

I feel like I'm missing something huge, like there's a big hole and I just can't see it.

I think the letter was pretty specific, and right on the money -- there are segments of fandom that make you angry. How much do you care about (potentially) pissing off that portion of your likely audience? (Not that anyone thinks they are the crazy ones....)

I thought the story of Kat n' Lori's wedding, ita's story, and Tim's story went far to balance.

I did, too, especially Kat and Lori's wedding.

And still? Just her opinion. If she's not involved in fandom, or doesn't read the same kind of boards, a little snark might go a long way with her. She might not ever get it, not the way you want to write it.