Driving Fast
This one time, I was, like, in a car. And it was, like, driving fast. And then like, it was so fast, it was, like a thing that goes really fast and I was soooo scared. And then we stopped and like, Billy touched my like….well, YOU KNOW. And then, we like, did it –OHMIGAWD! And then we like, we drove back home so fast and then like, I was scared I was going to be pregnant, and like, I wasn’t so I was like relieved and that’s why you shouldn’t drive, like, fast. And stuff.
BWAH!
Aimee, I just flashed on Clueless, in the car: "Like, I TOTALLY paused!"
I'm not sure I can compete with the crumpet of sex. I'll ponder.
I'm not sure I can compete with the crumpet of sex.
The untoasted crumpet of sex, please.
I'm actually really happy with my "bad night philosophy" once. It's an exercise in long, droney, run-on sentences.
The One He Didn't See Coming
It was quiet tonight. Too quiet.
He’d been at the front too long.. His piercing blue eyes penetrated the new mooned night. Little movement from his vantage point even when his weathered face scrunched his crow’s feet into deep, ravaged furrows.
Too damn quiet. Hadn’t been a night without gunfire and mangled screams since the truce was broken. Not that it mattered much. He had nothing to go back to.
He pulled her last letter out of his shirt pocket, streaked and torn.
He had just unfolded it one last time when the bullet-the one you never hear-entered his brainpan.
Hee. Take that Untoasted Crumpet Girl.
Take that Untoasted Crumpet Girl.
Nothing can defeat the Buttery Untoasted Crumpet of Love!
Somebody's new moon pierced by blue eyes begs to differ...
Somebody's new moon pierced by blue eyes begs to differ...
pftpftpftph.
Where's your pointless repetition? Where are all the staccato individual words chopped out of perfectly good sentences? Where's your grotesquely overdone use of adverbs, missy?
Huh? Huh?
(although, I actually think my "night" drabble is worse than my "porn" drabble.)