The One He Didn't See Coming
It was quiet tonight. Too quiet.
He’d been at the front too long.. His piercing blue eyes penetrated the new mooned night. Little movement from his vantage point even when his weathered face scrunched his crow’s feet into deep, ravaged furrows.
Too damn quiet. Hadn’t been a night without gunfire and mangled screams since the truce was broken. Not that it mattered much. He had nothing to go back to.
He pulled her last letter out of his shirt pocket, streaked and torn.
He had just unfolded it one last time when the bullet-the one you never hear-entered his brainpan.
Hee. Take that Untoasted Crumpet Girl.
Take that Untoasted Crumpet Girl.
Nothing can defeat the Buttery Untoasted Crumpet of Love!
Somebody's new moon pierced by blue eyes begs to differ...
Somebody's new moon pierced by blue eyes begs to differ...
pftpftpftph.
Where's your pointless repetition? Where are all the staccato individual words chopped out of perfectly good sentences? Where's your grotesquely overdone use of adverbs, missy?
Huh? Huh?
(although, I actually think my "night" drabble is worse than my "porn" drabble.)
Hey, I have more practice trying to make my bad writing good than bad writing left whimpering on its own.
I tried the non-linear over metaphored angle meself.
Although, I do bow to the flowery badness that is your
Night
drabble, in all candor.
Although, I do bow to the flowery badness that is your Night drabble, in all candor.
Thank you! Doesn't it suck?
Man, bad writing on purpose? Hard.
Sucks like a sucking thing.
Really hard to keep it bad and brief, too. I had some really bad metaphors in there and some more runons, but they made it longer than 100 words.
Discipline is HARD.
Hmmmm.
Having done two overdones, maybe I should try a Hemingway chop-up?
