(I already read 4 books to her every morning after first feeding and one at night.)

That's plenty. Way more than most kids get at that age.

I've been a parent for 8+ years now and it is my observation that most families (I know personlly) break down so that the mom does about 65%-85% of the parenting. So it's far from equitable. However, there are a whole lot of things that go with that. A lot of Moms I know, are gate-keepers in one way or another. They're possessive of the kids, you hear a lot of "You're not doing it right" and putting the dad in a position of First Assistant Parent. Also, far more many women than men do the Stay-at-home thang. Which is no picnic, but the option is often more available and culturally sanctioned.

One of my good friends was pretty much the stay at home dad for the first couple of years because his wife just made so much more money than him. He was brilliant at it, but I'm sure he got a lot of shit about it because they live in Southern Missouri. And he's a total dude's dude, so I can't imagine how much more shit he would have gotten from some of his caver friends (some of whom are complete liberals, some of whom are truly, living in the 19th century.)

So it's all this amazing thing when guys stay home with the kids, but women who do the same thing? Taken for granted.

ION, I totally fell down while leaving the school today. In front of about a zillion students, some of whom were mine, including one of the brattiest kids.

I fall down all the time, so one the one hand, I'm not embarassed, but on the other....it was my students! I looked like a drunk rodent!

Hee. It does.

Time is why I'm staying out of the parenting discussion. If I do too much posting, I won't get any work done.

I fall down all the time

Yeah, what's up with that Erin? I fall down maybe once a year. Sometimes not even.

I think all those are pretty correct. Just not something I'd ever want and doing it the way I would want seems like taking on the extra job of reinventing the family, when I already had two full-time jobs. Which is why I look to families like my friend's sister and her wife and two kids. They're both moms, how do they divide raising the kids and having jobs? Actually, they don't have what I want because one of them does stay home. The other couple I know have a daughter, but she's fully grown and they both operate their own business together, so that's not really an option either.

One of the things I promised myself was I was never going to second guess MM and his methods with Em. If he does something different but gets the same result I would, what do I care? The only time I say anything is if he seems to be having a particularly hard time with her and most of the time, he asks me first, "Ok, what the heck do I do now?" And then I suggest and let him do it. And I tell everyone that's way it should be. That way, the kid gets different comforting and feels more secure in the long run. Or so I think. I could also be full of the shite.

I truly don't know, cause I have excellent balance, like in yoga. I can stand on one foot in three inch heels forever, balance on my toes, sit on my hip bones, etc.

I think when I get going my brain is two steps in front of my feet, and I step on my mental heels. I really can't explain it, but I fall down A LOT.

My friends mock me A LOT.

Heh. I have danced in 7 inch heels with high kicks and everything, but put me in sandals and have me try to walk down the sidewalk and suddenly I'm Clumsy McSpazzypants.

A lot of Moms I know, are gate-keepers in one way or another.

I think this is a very good point. It's something I worry about in our case. I don't want to stand in between my husband and daughter, but I also know that a small part of me feels that, whatever my shortcomings, *no one else* is qualified to make decisions for my baby. Since I'll be a single parent the first 6 months of her life, I'm hoping that by the time Joe gets back, I'll actually be eager for someone else to help make decisions.

If I were ever a parent, I would have trouble with the gatekeeping issue, too. I mean, I get mad when people chastise my CAT in front of me; can't imagine someone doing something I didn't agree with to my child.

And society doesn't really encourage dads to fight for equal time with their kids, does it? It encourages it more than it used to, but it seems more of a PC theory v. reality kind of thing. And a lot of men still don't have great role-models for being a 50/50 dad, so they don't know how to fight for it, if they even want it.