...burning baby fish swimming all round your head.

Drusilla ,'Conversations with Dead People'


Spike's Bitches 22: You've got Angel breath  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Steph L. - Feb 09, 2005 11:33:40 am PST #111 of 10001
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

Just that *I* would never do the picking.

Oh, see, for me the issue isn't who does the picking; it's the sex-with-a-stranger aspect of it, which skeeves on so many levels other than the obvious axe-murderer one.


beth b - Feb 09, 2005 11:34:21 am PST #112 of 10001
oh joy! Oh Rapture ! I have a brain!

I keep trying to post the to the whole idea that sex is treated casually. Because I think we treat it too seriously. It is sort of like the drinking age thing - we make such a big deal over it - that the parts about responsibility are either over or under emphasised.

but that's about as clear as mud. and I have to go to work.


§ ita § - Feb 09, 2005 11:35:36 am PST #113 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

the obvious axe-murderer one

Right. Yes. That.

I guess I'd either sound unbelievable or totally predictable to say -- that doesn't really occur to me. I mean, I'm not going to a guy's house if I barely know him, because I'm not as stupid as I sometimes sound, but whither the knickers -- doesn't even factor into it.


Ginger - Feb 09, 2005 11:35:41 am PST #114 of 10001
"It didn't taste good. It tasted soooo horrible. It tasted like....a vodka martini." - Matilda

On this issue, I am Hec. And sometimes it's Hec to be Hec.

There are many religious people whom I greatly love and admire and who are, I believe, strengthened and made better by their religion. The problem is that there is a powerful lobby--the religious right or whatever you want to call it--that is unduly influencing public policy in this country. Evolution, the foundation of modern biology, isn't being taught in many, or perhaps most, public schools because of fear of controversy. The funding and emphasis in sex education has shifted to "abstinence only," and abstinence only educational materials often use erroneous scare tactics about sex.

Also, I think that the result of a general cultural ambivalence about sex--it's great, it's sinful, it makes vampires evil--we don't have real discussions with young people about sex. We don't tell them that sex is great, but it usually changes the nature of a relationship. We don't explain that while they continue to have pretty much zipless fucks in the movies, in real life you have to make decisions about birth control and disease before you have sex, not after you're swept away by hormones. We don't tell them that having bad sex with one person doesn't mean they won't have good sex with another.

All of this might not do much good. Teenagers are, after all, teenagers. They have often had pretty good instruction in how to drive, but they drive too fast anyway. But it would at least be healthier.


P.M. Marc - Feb 09, 2005 11:35:45 am PST #115 of 10001
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear

I keep trying to post the to the whole idea that sex is treated casually. Because I think we treat it too seriously. It is sort of like the drinking age thing - we make such a big deal over it - that the parts about responsibility are either over or under emphasised.

This makes total sense to me, and I totally agree.


Sean K - Feb 09, 2005 11:38:10 am PST #116 of 10001
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty

I keep trying to post the to the whole idea that sex is treated casually. Because I think we treat it too seriously.

And I posted above to the same effect. Depection of uber-casual sex on TV does not = culture treats sex uber-casually.


ChiKat - Feb 09, 2005 11:38:36 am PST #117 of 10001
That man was going to shank me. Over an omelette. Two eggs and a slice of government cheese. Is that what my life is worth?

for me the issue isn't who does the picking; it's the sex-with-a-stranger aspect of it, which skeeves on so many levels other than the obvious axe-murderer one.

Same here, Teppy. In retrospect, there's a couple of guys I wish I hadn't slept with because I don't think I knew them well enough. That's my own squick, mind you.


Anne W. - Feb 09, 2005 11:39:28 am PST #118 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

It is sort of like the drinking age thing - we make such a big deal over it - that the parts about responsibility are either over or under emphasised.

Wrod. I was allowed to have sips of wine, beer, etc. when I was younger, so drinking was never a big whoop-de-doo for me. In fact, I have only been drunk two or three times in my life.

In a way, I think that being exposed to good, bawdy humor throughout one's life is probably the best way to gain a healthy attitude towards sex. Good bedroom farce can show that sex is fun, complicated, has consequences, etc. and make it seem like a natural part of life.


Gudanov - Feb 09, 2005 11:40:48 am PST #119 of 10001
Coding and Sleeping

Though at this point, I'm talking about the broader culture of the religious right.

But the religious right certainly doesn't speak for all christians. There are plenty of liberal christians as well. I'm disturbed by how the religous right has become the voice of christianity when it seems to concentrate so much being anti-abortion and anti-gay and ignores social and economic justice.


Steph L. - Feb 09, 2005 11:41:50 am PST #120 of 10001
the hardest to learn / was the least complicated

And I posted above to the same effect. Depection of uber-casual sex on TV does not = culture treats sex uber-casually.

I think that our society treats sex (get ready for a big contradiction!) both too casually and too seriously.

Too casually because there is often the sense that you should be getting laid as often as possible, relationship or no. And because of the attitude mentioned upthread that if you haven't had sex by a certain age, you're a weirdo.

Too seriously because, and I'm going to quote a movie here, much to my chagrin -- sex should mean *something,* but it doesn't have to mean *everything.*