for me the issue isn't who does the picking; it's the sex-with-a-stranger aspect of it, which skeeves on so many levels other than the obvious axe-murderer one.

Same here, Teppy. In retrospect, there's a couple of guys I wish I hadn't slept with because I don't think I knew them well enough. That's my own squick, mind you.

It is sort of like the drinking age thing - we make such a big deal over it - that the parts about responsibility are either over or under emphasised.

Wrod. I was allowed to have sips of wine, beer, etc. when I was younger, so drinking was never a big whoop-de-doo for me. In fact, I have only been drunk two or three times in my life.

In a way, I think that being exposed to good, bawdy humor throughout one's life is probably the best way to gain a healthy attitude towards sex. Good bedroom farce can show that sex is fun, complicated, has consequences, etc. and make it seem like a natural part of life.

Though at this point, I'm talking about the broader culture of the religious right.

But the religious right certainly doesn't speak for all christians. There are plenty of liberal christians as well. I'm disturbed by how the religous right has become the voice of christianity when it seems to concentrate so much being anti-abortion and anti-gay and ignores social and economic justice.

And I posted above to the same effect. Depection of uber-casual sex on TV does not = culture treats sex uber-casually.

I think that our society treats sex (get ready for a big contradiction!) both too casually and too seriously.

Too casually because there is often the sense that you should be getting laid as often as possible, relationship or no. And because of the attitude mentioned upthread that if you haven't had sex by a certain age, you're a weirdo.

Too seriously because, and I'm going to quote a movie here, much to my chagrin -- sex should mean *something,* but it doesn't have to mean *everything.*

In retrospect, there's a couple of guys I wish I hadn't slept with because I don't think I knew them well enough.

Somehow I made it to majority without tightly linking sex with emotional intimacy. In fact, the guy I lost my virginity to said "You should try it with someone you're in love with -- it's even better." To which I said "Oh, hell no! If it gets better than this, I'll never do anything else."

So there's the idea of not knowing them well enough to predict they'd insist on watersports with Fido -- that I'd regret, but just knowing them as a person, can make things better, but isn't required.

For me.

I think that our society treats sex (get ready for a big contradiction!) both too casually and too seriously.

I feel that way too.

I'm disturbed by how the religous right has become the voice of christianity when it seems to concentrate so much being anti-abortion and anti-gay and ignores social and economic justice.

I think I need a macro for my rant on this subject. It would save so much time.

When I was in college (late 80s) I recall seeing a book that set forth the idea that America was God's chosen nation and was to do His will upon the earth. I was far more conservative then than I am now, and I still thought the idea was hella scary and could only lead to very, very bad things.

Reconstructionism. Scary, scary stuff.

[link]

And, to completely contradict myself, there's a couple of guys that I had, well, fuck-buddy relationships with that I don't regret one bit.

I think the ones I do regret was that there was a pretense of emotional intimacy that wasn't really there.

On this issue, I am Hec.

Me too. (Which is pretty surprising, given how generally intolerant I am of Hec's tendency to oversimplify moral/social issues. But on these...yeah. Right there with him.)