Mal ,'Objects In Space'
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
I just wonder if she stops and thinks about it.
Probably not, because people do so rarely discuss money. My comfort level is going to be in a wider range than some of the folks I know, but it mostly matches.
I have two friends who are bazillionaires, and when we go out to eat, it's to a place I can afford, too. And due to getting the pride thing, one lets me pick up the bill when I offer. Feels fair.
I don't have a huge problem with a friend offering to pay for a social thing when I'm between jobs because when I'm the one gainfully employed, I'm the one who will say "No, I think this would be fun for both of us. Don't worry, I'll cover it."
When I was 20, and went dutch for everything, I was astounded to be told that a time would come when I would sometimes insist on paying for others. I'm probably behind the overall curve in how that kind of thing works, but I'm learning slowly.
That's not what leeches do. Leeches ask, piteously, or lurk with eyelashes aflutter.
Yeah. I'm lucky enough to not have to worry about money. If that means letting someone stay in my hotel room at a con so I can have the pleasure of seeing them, works for me.
Exactly, plus what Jesse said. If I am going to be somewhere anyway, I have no issue saying someone can crash in my hotel room. Doesn't cost me anything, I get to be around fun people, and I know what it was like to be cash short.
Also, speaking for myself, I like treating people to dinner or whatever, and frequently will, regardless of their financial status. I've bought just as many dinners for ita as I have for any other laista.
Really?
Well, I didn't know about Lysana, but I think she was in school when I was posting with her a lot. I know I was around when she got married. And then there was the handle change, you never really recover from that.
Well, you're the only person so far who makes significantly more than I'd guessed from reading their posts over the years...
Really? I post like a pauper? Heh.I was wondering if I read that incorrectly, or if the "more" should have read "less".
My own weird issues, Jesse, which I sometimes place on others. When I want to do dinner and a movie with someone and they say, "no money this week" I tend to say, "what if I get a couple of movies and a pizza and we hang out then?" I don't know why it's different, but it is in a way because I'm just sharing what I would have gotten for myself, I can't eat a whole pizza, and the DVD costs the same no matter how many people come over to watch. So when someone offers that, it doesn't feel like I'm taking. My issue. I know. One I often project onto others who I assume are as sensitive as I am about borrowing money or accepting gifts.
Steph, I'd have assumed you made at least 5k a year more. (But that's knowing what editors make around here and attempting to mentally adjust to your location.)
I envy your cheap rent.
(But that's knowing what editors make around here and attempting to mentally adjust to your location.)
Who knows, maybe I just knew Steph was an editor and didn't know the pay scale for that job. Basically I probably had my head way up my ass, but at least I have fun with my wild theories.
I have two friends who are bazillionaires, and when we go out to eat, it's to a place I can afford, too. And due to getting the pride thing, one lets me pick up the bill when I offer. Feels fair.
Back in my Detroit days, I never asked people to go anywhere cheaper because of me. I was lucky in that I could often say "Dude. I can't afford that. You pay or I stay home." without it sounding like a passive aggressive ultimatum. It was merely the truth. Sometimes I stayed home, sometimes I had a stupendously expensive meal. I prefer the latter, when money was buying quality, but I don't expect the latter. Some people can just drop $200 for me to eat dinner without blinking. If they really want to, and I don't feel pity coming across, sometimes I'd let them.
I, more often than not, paid for dinner for my parents when they were here. Felt strange. Felt like I was paying them back, showing off, going native, being uppity, being kind -- a million contradictory things. I know, sometimes, they like paying for me. They get something out of that, even when we both have the money.
And I realise -- I do too. It's a thing. A thing unrelated to pity, and (as Lee mentions) income. I'm not, for example, a good gift-giver. It makes me feel awkward and exposed. Picking up the tab? Even if I don't remember as often as I'd like to, it's about my level of imagination.