(But that's knowing what editors make around here and attempting to mentally adjust to your location.)

Who knows, maybe I just knew Steph was an editor and didn't know the pay scale for that job. Basically I probably had my head way up my ass, but at least I have fun with my wild theories.

I have two friends who are bazillionaires, and when we go out to eat, it's to a place I can afford, too. And due to getting the pride thing, one lets me pick up the bill when I offer. Feels fair.

Back in my Detroit days, I never asked people to go anywhere cheaper because of me. I was lucky in that I could often say "Dude. I can't afford that. You pay or I stay home." without it sounding like a passive aggressive ultimatum. It was merely the truth. Sometimes I stayed home, sometimes I had a stupendously expensive meal. I prefer the latter, when money was buying quality, but I don't expect the latter. Some people can just drop $200 for me to eat dinner without blinking. If they really want to, and I don't feel pity coming across, sometimes I'd let them.

I, more often than not, paid for dinner for my parents when they were here. Felt strange. Felt like I was paying them back, showing off, going native, being uppity, being kind -- a million contradictory things. I know, sometimes, they like paying for me. They get something out of that, even when we both have the money.

And I realise -- I do too. It's a thing. A thing unrelated to pity, and (as Lee mentions) income. I'm not, for example, a good gift-giver. It makes me feel awkward and exposed. Picking up the tab? Even if I don't remember as often as I'd like to, it's about my level of imagination.

What bugs is the, "we'll/I'll pay." Just makes me feel like a leech.

I don't think you should feel that way if people are offering of their own free will. I've treated friends to nice meals out because I wanted to enjoy the pleasure of their company and knew things were a little tight for them. Being the recipient of that sort of thing is in no way leeching.

Since we're sharing:
Gross salary: $43K
Monthly rent: $700
Debt: Roughly $2500 (which I hope to have paid off next month between a tax refund and a fortuitous pay cycle that results in what's effectively a spare check)

Before last May I had, well, not money to burn, but enough to be fairly indulgent with travel and luxuries between the massive overtime and paying $400 a month less in rent and gas. Things are fairly tight now what with the new place and the commute, but I'm happy enough about where I live to make it worthwhile. (Really, the place I'm in would be at least $500 more a month if not for my next-door neighbors: the I-240 Expressway, Cheech, and Chong.)

I know we've talked over strategies for how to not spend money when friends have money to spend in the past. I think it was Lilty who asked for advice, last summer.

It was me, and you guys had fantastical advice. Since then I got the new job and am making more, but I seriously need to be better about spending so things can change. So, after a quick foray through Quicken, here it is.

Salary: 34K Rent: $340 Debt: $22,500 (Quicken doesn't include my car since it is worth approximatly what I owe. That would be another 7K)

Wow. This is like therapy.

My own weird issues, Jesse, which I sometimes place on others.

I was just saying.

We're contemplating refinancing our house with a 5-year interest-only mortgage.

Just the interest on our house is 2,426.04.

We can never, ever, ever retire.

Don't get me wrong. I am ridiculously comfortable. But when I look at my finances, I'm terrified: they depend completely on having two computer-industry salaries. Pretty fragile, that.

What bugs is the, "we'll/I'll pay." Just makes me feel like a leech.

I kind of get you on that. With very close friends, or once in a long while, it's cool, but it's not exactly comfortable. And it's less so when it's not that I completely don't have the money, i.e., flat broke, but I'm trying to keep a handle on costs for a couple of weeks or something.

And I'm one of those who will sometimes offer to pick things up if a friend doesnt' want to spend the money - I know it doesn't feel that way from the offeror's side. But that doesn't make it any more comfortable when I find myself on the other end.

Hey, Lilty Cash -- are you named after the almighty buck? Just curious. I really like your user name -- for some reason I always want to say it out loud when I see it -- but I've never posted with you before. I've just been lurking in Press.

In another, she's a 30 year old whose parents pay her rent. I wouldn't mind being the former, but would rather not buy anything ever than be the latter.

Yeah. It's weird how some people just have no issues with letting their parents pay for stuff well into adulthood, and then there are people like me who feel vaguely mortified when Mom sends a birthday card with two $50s inside.

When Chandra Levy disappeared, one of my minor fixations was how she paid for her apartment (which was in a very nice building) on her reported salary. It made more sense when I read somewhere that it was mommy and daddy.

My friends and I (and now Hec and I) wobble back and forth between the cheap nights at each other's homes and the occasional splurgy meal. I know very, very few people (that I'm not related to, which would be a whole other set of posts) who have had consistent, steady income growth over the last decade; mostly, myself included, incomes have fitfully bounced up and plummeted down at bizarrely random times.

Almost everyone I know has either treated me to nice things I couldn't afford or been treated likewise by me, or more likely both. None of us have any real idea what we owe each other or who's in whose debt, and none of us worry that much about it. Which is a huge relief, and very beneficial to our collective sanity.