shrift, let's switch jobs for a week or so.

Or we could just call in sick and fly someplace that has beautiful weather and hot cabana boys.

It's like the Handbook People who would like me to include a very complex Excel spreadsheet in the handbook, but didn't think they actually had an electronic copy of it.

I can't do what people want me to do without this one. stupid. font. It's ridiculous, but not as ridiculous as your situation with the Handbook What Is Currently Devouring Tokyo.

You planning to suggest they try double-clicking?

Actually, I just talked to the people in New York. They actually do know how to open Photoshop files. Props to them! On the other hand, they were asking me for something I already told them doesn't exist.

It's cute that they think I'll change my answer if they ask me enough times.

Have more bacon!

Like pie, bacon gone.

Or we could just call in sick and fly someplace that has beautiful weather and hot cabana boys.

I like this idea so much.

Ugh. Tried the bit of the banana I had freed. So not worth the effort.

And two uteri isn't "really weird"?

Gods, yes. I thought I'd said so, but I don't think it can be said enough....

It should be noted in my file that bacon reduces my homicidal urges.

The file so far.

Reduces homicidal urges:

Bacon

Beer

Comics

Porn

Fails to reduce homicidal urges:

Stupid people

Bosses

Stupid bosses

Yellow crayons

Yellow crayons

Waittaminnit -- Xander lied to me?

The one thing that he says that makes me think he's picky, and this is probably more of a legitimate spoiler, is when he points out that he never accepts wedding invitations, that this was the first one, and it was because he liked the hope in her voice. That sounds pretty picky to me, but again, he didn't necessarily see a picture of her, just heard her voice. She certainly had no idea what he looked like when she booked him, and he never mentioned discriminating against ugly. I'm just assuming he gets glutted with offers .

Waittaminnit -- Xander lied to me?

That was a shrift-specific list. As far as we know, neither bacon nor porn would have worked for Willow. Comics maybe.

Reduces homicidal urges:

Bacon, check. Beer, check. Porn, check. Batverse comics written by Bill Willingham tend to give me apoplexy, but otherwise, check.

My phone has been ringing so much that I keep getting voicemail while I'm on a call with someone else.

I think this is my cue to leave my desk for a little bit before I go all keyboard-breaky black-eyed Willow whom no yellow crayon speech can save.

I just discovered that my private office line is listed as the helpdesk number in the phonebook.

That explains a lot.