My theory was that he was raised by a single mom,

Huh. I don't see that. I mean he likes women, and strong women, but there definitely seems like there was a Dad in his life. He's invested in a lot of male culture.

there definitely seems like there was a Dad in his life. He's invested in a lot of male culture.

The guys I know that were raised by single mothers were invested in male culture just fine (a couple overly so, sadly) -- but what is this investment on Mal's part that you note?

Zoe is from a military family. I will arm wrestle anyone who says else wise. Except Beverly, that is, 'cuz her scary mental prowess on the Mal thing has spooked me.

From the same episode:

Mal: My momma had a ranch -- back on Shadow, where I'm from. Ran cattle, mostly. Wasn't nobody ran harder or smarter. Used to tell me: don't brand the cattle, brand the buyer; he's the one likely to stray.
Saffron: She raised you herself?
Mal: Well, her and about forty hands. I had more family for a kid...

This is where I got the impression Mal was raised by a single mother:

MAL: My momma had a ranch, back on Shadow where I'm from. Ran cattle, mostly - wasn't nobody ran 'em harder or smarter. Used to tell me, don't brand the cattle, brand the buyer - he's the one likely to stray.

SAFFRON: She raised you herself?

MAL: Well, her and about 40 hands. I had more family for a kid who...

eta: Curse your sudden but inevitable crosspost, Nilly.

The clicking-of-my-keyboard is an evil click.

Oh, Mal's Mom was a strong, independant woman.

Strong Moms make strong chitlin's. Every time.

I don't know where this image comes from, but I really see Mal without a dad. All the men who worked for his mom would have provided male role models, and also have given him some perspective on the vagaries of human nature. Of course I have no way of knowing, but I feel it very strongly. I think he took on responsibility early, and rather than resenting it, he was glad to do it. He was invested in the farm/ranch/thing, it was his family's past, and his own future. The world was all laid out before him predictable, full of hard work but also affection, respect, and no doubt a certain admiration. The war changed all that. I just see it--that it not only stripped away his belief system but his future. He's got a few moral values left from the way he was raised, everything else he's making up as he goes.

I see Zoe as having been raised with a certain amount of privilege and the responsibility that goes with that in certain wealthy families. She would have been used to directing people, giving instructions and expecting them to be obeyed. Pleasant, but brooking no insubordination. This sort of poise is often bred by experience, and Zoe's feels like that, to me. Her unflappability would have been taught. There's a stillness about her, an awareness of her body in space (the space she inhabits and moves in, not "outer" space) a physicality contained and graceful that a finishing school would instill. I know a couple of women who were "finished," and they have this quality. It's a sort of physical serenity (you should pardon the expression). It isn't really noticeable until you've spent some time with them. And then you realize, they never fidget. They don't have nervous mannerisms. They are animated but controlled at all times. They are pleasant and even genuine, but they are never abandoned. And this, to me, is Zoe.

The war would have toughened her, sharpened her, made her dangerous, but the core of her would have been forged in wealth, responsibility to the community and to her family and her household. It may have been a little cold, a little lacking in affection and warmth, and the comraderie of combat might have been the first time she felt that close to people she was responsible for and to.

Just my impressions. But it's a fun game to play.

a physicality contained and graceful that a finishing school would instill

Or, Occamishly, a long time in one or more fighting systems. Even if not formally taught, but handed down within the family.

I don't know where this image comes from, but I really see Mal without a dad.

Maybe 'cuz it's canon in the show?