I don't think there's anything wrong with any purity philosophy, so long as it doesn't make those who weren't always involved in it feel like trash. The poor people Teppy was talking about, who had issues after marriage, over a pre-marital breast grope? That's sad.

I don't think any of my pre-Scott relationships gave me any meaningful experience/practice that added to my marriage bed. If I could tabula rasa them, I would. Emotionally, I think of myself as his virgin. I bet there's something nice about mutual, lifelong monogamy for a couple who started and continued that way.

check out "Song Catcher". It's got some great singing and also has scruffy Aidan Quinn. And Iris Dement has a cameo singing.

Plus, Pat Carroll as his mother. I had no idea the woman was that good an actress, I'd only seen her in comic parts. She is so submerged in this character I couldn't identify her, although I recognised that I knew her from somewhere. And the wonderful Janet McTeer from Precious Bane is the female lead. It's a marvelous movie, and pretty dead-on in the attitudes of those people at that time--and more than vestiges of those attitudes still linger today.

Felicitations on the anniversary of your natal day, lexine!

sumi, all good thoughts to your friend and her mom.

Yeah, the church tried to indoctrinate me with the "Christian Purity" ideal, too. Didn't take.

CIndy, I'm sorry I wasn't clear. I was commenting on the CRAXY people who make others feel dirty. It's the smug knowledge of these people who think they and only they are right with the LORD that makes me go crazy and want to kick their teeth in.

Peeps should do whatever feels good for them, an it harm none. They should not be made to feel guilty for being human.

I don't think there's anything wrong with any purity philosophy, so long as it doesn't make those who weren't always involved in it feel like trash.

I do. It's anti-sex. I think that's wrong. I think it's creepoid Puritanism. It is to my mind - inhumane. Specifically, contrary to human nature. It's about deprivation and denial and guilt. A lot of the things I hate most about my culture (which seem to be the favorite things of the Right.)

I bet there's something nice about mutual, lifelong monogamy for a couple who started and continued that way.

Yep. I have no regrets whatsoever that I've only ever slept with the one guy. I do, however, have MAJOR issues with the amount of guilt, angst, and general obsessiveness over sexual issues I picked up in my college days and shortly thereafter and took a long time to work through. Because it's stupid, and I don't think it's even what Jesus MEANT when he talked about lust, and Song of Solomon is in the Bible too, dangit.

I totally failed to wear red every day last year. That is, there were days I didn't wear red. There were days I did. The effect on my luck is unknown. t /Monkey

Here's pic of me and my sweet, flower-giving-for-no-reason, BF.

[link]

Aren't we cute??

Song of Solomon is in the Bible too, dangit

I made sure this was included in our wedding ceremony. *g*

Aren't we cute??

Supercute.

It's anti-sex. I think that's wrong. I think it's creepoid Puritanism. It is to my mind - inhumane. Specifically, contrary to human nature. It's about deprivation and denial and guilt.

But what if it isn't about "deprivation and denial and guilt" to the people involved? What if they see chastity as a rational choice (which it can be) and one their god approves of (which it also is, though their god may not = my god or your god or The God)?

Like you, I have a problem with people being made to feel dirty for being human. But the choice to only have sex in marriage, if freely entered into, is as valid as the choice to sleep with a different person every day for 75 years, or anything in-between.