The sounds you hear are of me stretching an analogy until it snaps.
HA!
Prepare to uncouple -- uncouple.
Oz ,'Same Time, Same Place'
The Minearverse 3: The Network Is a Harsh Mistress
[NAFDA] "There will be an occasional happy, so that it might be crushed under the boot of the writer." From Zorro to Angel (including Wonderfalls and The Inside), this is where Buffistas come to anoint themselves in the bloodbath.
Allyson - Jun 17, 2005 9:19:05 am PDT #9547 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Dana - Jun 17, 2005 9:19:54 am PDT #9548 of 10001
"I'm useless alone." // "We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone."
Okay, I know everyone's having an intelligent conversation and all, but really, I can't let this go.
Steph!
Kristen - Jun 17, 2005 9:37:46 am PDT #9549 of 10001
If your date likes, say, kissing and then starts kissing you without asking, or goes for your buttons or under the skirt -- same degree of bad?
I think there are degrees when it comes to unwanted advances. Someone leaning for a kiss probably gets them a hand up or a step back and a, "whoa there, buckaroo." The more agressive the unwanted advance, the more agressive the response is going to be.
Steph L. - Jun 17, 2005 9:43:03 am PDT #9550 of 10001
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe
Okay, Colin Firth seems like a nice chap, but is very nondescript to me. I think I've been confusing Clive Owen with Colin Farrell -- is he the one with the eyebrows of doom? (Other than Peter Gallhager, I mean?)
What if instead of cuffing her, he'd smacked her in the face? Would that count as assault?
yes, as would cuffing her
But kissing her wouldn't have been considered assault? (Again, that's not meant to be snotty; I don't know what legally defines "assault." If someone kisses me and I don't want him to, is that assault?)
Vortex - Jun 17, 2005 9:44:01 am PDT #9551 of 10001
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman
that there's some indication that women who are powerful outside the bedroom particularly enjoy the switch of feeling (though not being) powerless inside it.
That didn't bother me, because that's been said about powerful men all the time.
Vortex - Jun 17, 2005 9:44:45 am PDT #9552 of 10001
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman
But kissing her wouldn't have been considered assault? (Again, that's not meant to be snotty; I don't know what legally defines "assault." If someone kisses me and I don't want him to, is that assault?)
depends, and yes, it can be. t /lawyerspeak
Dana - Jun 17, 2005 9:50:09 am PDT #9553 of 10001
"I'm useless alone." // "We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone."
I think I've been confusing Clive Owen with Colin Farrell -- is he the one with the eyebrows of doom?
Yes. And not nearly as cute as either of the other two, although Jessica may hurt me.
Scrappy - Jun 17, 2005 9:52:56 am PDT #9554 of 10001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Teppy, Teppy, Teppy--you need to watch movies with these guys in them. Not only will you then be able to tell them apart, but they have made some terrific films which I think youd really like, It's a no lose situation.
Clive: Gosford Park, Croupier, Closer
Colin: Pride & Prejudice, Bridget Jone's Diary, Fever Pitch, Girl with Pearl Earring
Jessica - Jun 17, 2005 9:53:56 am PDT #9555 of 10001
If I want to become a cloud of bats, does each bat need a separate vaccination?
Clive Owen != cute. Clive Owen = HOTT.
Colin Farrell can be either, depending.
Colin Firth is mostly just boring.
Sophie Max - Jun 17, 2005 9:58:17 am PDT #9556 of 10001
If someone kisses me and I don't want him to, is that assault?)
assault= touching without consent of the person being touched, knowing they don't want to be touched. (or being reckless/wilfully blind about whether they want to be touched, which is the fuzzier area of course).
So, unless you told the guy "lay it on me, big boy", so that he thought you did want it - kiss without consent = assault.
As did the handcuffing of Rebecca in my view. That said, not sure his kissing her was an assault, since he was going in for that slowly enough that she had the opportunity to say 'back off' or step away. in that context, he could have the belief she's into it...the handcuff is not a reasonable leap from the kissing, though, in terms of his belief about her consent. in my opinion, anyway .
Consent in a sexual context can be so complicated because it's all so often unspoken - nobody wants to stop at every stage of the process and say "is it okay if I move my hand here now? how about here?". It goes on body language and eye contact and mutual groping.
What's interesting to me about the BDSM context is that in some ways there's less room for misunderstanding, because the rules have to be negotiated beforehand, if it's being done ethically (if that's the right word). So the lines are clearly known beforehand.